How the heck do women go on top?

[Velvettrees]

I like to think I'm fairly capable in the bedroom but one thing I've never understood is the process for woman-on-top

Whenever I try straddling my DH I basically end up shuffling back and forth a bit, not really getting (or giving!) any pleasure and it all feeling a bit heavy and clunky. The only way I've managed to get DH off that way is to basically hover over him supporting my own weight while he does all the thrusting and grunt work (excuse the pun).

Am I doing it wrong? Is there a certain angle or technique I should try? How do you settle into a pleasurable motion that doesn't just feel like you're hefting your entire bodyweight back and forth with nothing really hitting the spot for either of you?

Without the incentive of actually feeling any pleasure it's hard to work up any real speed or momentum, but it's something I'd love to learn how to do properly!

FWIW our usual "finishing" position is me underneath, as I find I need to keep my legs straight and quite taut in order to squeeze everything together and "upwards", if that makes sense...

Do you have short legs?

You need to find a rhythm together. You both move together rather than just you doing all the motion.

Hated it with my ex. I was fully on top of him and I'd rock back and forth while he lay still. New man loves it, and together we find a really good rhythm to move at. When he's close to cumming, he grabs my thighs and bum to move me just perfectly. Means I enjoy it now.

It's ok if a position doesn't work for you. There's no need to keep going and going, as it may never be enjoyable. Have fun together discovering different positions you may think you'll enjoy.

Have fun!

It’s one of my favourites.

I just move backwards and forwards whilst tilting slightly forwards. Either fast or slow is fine, but I can’t do it for too long as its such a good position for me unless I want a short session! Sometimes DH will sit up as well so we can hug each other at the same time.

We don’t all like the same things though - I don’t feel anything with “doggy style”, but I don’t mind it as it means I can last a bit longer whilst DH has fun.

I think you just need to find what works, but don’t worry if it’s not for you.

We can never do it right either, just can't get comfortable so stick to what we do like.
I think it is funny that on TV, showing the woman on top is a kind of signal of an extra level of passion or even wanton behaviour and disregard.

I prefer being on top because l can establish the rhythm that is right for me.

But we are all different and in life we are not issued with a set of picture cards where we have to tick things off as we do them. In the words of my late mother “if it doesn’t make you feel nice, don’t do it!”.

You're not just sitting on his cock, like you'd sit on a chair, so I don't understand why you be "hefting your entire body weight" around...

If you're straddling him with your weight on your knees, and your lower legs tucked underneath you, you can simply move your pelvis up and down. It's just a rising trot! All the bending and movement is in your knees and hips.

If your legs aren't strong enough to maintain that movement, you can lean forward to put some of the weight on your arms. But the movement of your pelvis is still the same - up and down!

Try pressing your clitoral area against him and circling. It at or may not do anything for him but it's worth finding out if it does anything for you.

I’m trying to understand how your positioning yourself. Legs apart, kinda like a kneeling position ,is most comfortable for me. Easy to control Rhythm, depth , pace. Etc

My favourite and the only position I can climax in.

You don't sit on him as a prev poster has said but straddle

You don't sit on him as a prev poster has said, but straddle

Surely they both mean the same things in this instance? I’m trying to imagine how a woman would be positioned if she weren’t straddling him but was instead sitting on him?

I find being on top really clumsy and clunky. I will do it for a short while as I know DH enjoys it, but I don’t get anything from it. I just find it really awkward.