Dirty Talk during sex

[SexTalk]

In my previous relationship there was a lot of dirty talk during sex, it was a turn on for me and ex-partner. With my DP I’d like to introduce dirty talk but he is more reserved, if I started using it during sex, I’m worried he’ll be put off, so maybe asking him his feelings about it prior to doing it, is the best route?

Communication between the two of you is indeed the answer. You do need to tell him how much you like it, the things you need to hear, what you like to say, and explore how he feels about it before jumping in at the deep end. You may be surprised at quite how unreserved some reserved people can become when they are given free rein - let's hope he responds as you wish.

Thank you for responding. Yes I think maybe a conversation before may help. Then maybe I’ll take the lead if he likes the idea.

There are loads of articles on-line that will help with advice, you could do a bit of research first and then read and discuss together. Also useful podcasts if you’d rather both listen. Pour a glass of wine, chat and have a giggle. Sorry if this is obvious but it’s worth thinking about the angle of approach. “Hey I was wondering if we might try…” is far safer than “in the past I’ve really liked it when guys…” Talk about what you do and don’t want to hear. One that worked for us getting started was to prompt a bit. “Do you like it when I…” “Oh yes, I just LOVE IT when you…”. Good luck!

I think I will do some research first, I’m probably a bit out of practice now. I don’t even know if it’s his thing. He does like hair pulling and quite rough sex sometimes so maybe there’s a naughty side waiting to come out.

Watching with interest as my guy is very shy and reserved -he seems to enjoy me doing the talking but I don’t think I’ll get him to reciprocate.

I think a lot of men do like but but far less will initiate it, although I have loved it when a guy has taken the lead. I think I found it easier when in the deepest throws and both very aroused to say something a little dirty and see how he responded...if good then carry on a little but more and go from there.

I have shocked myself sometimes how utterly arousing dirty talk has been from my other half and some of what he has said

Nothing is more exciting than your partner being excited. If he knows and can see you getting excited then the chances are that he will love it

I would suggest that you could, during the day, send him a flirty text telling him you are feeling a little horny, and can’t wait to see him later. You can then gauge his how interested in raising the dirty talk stakes, little by little. Go luck

@Swansealivingthedream

I would suggest that you could, during the day, send him a flirty text telling him you are feeling a little horny, and can’t wait to see him later. You can then gauge his how interested in raising the dirty talk stakes, little by little. Go luck

Certainly agree.

Dirty texts are a great way to start and can get me very excited.

Dirty talk in the bedroom is great but be sure to understand that certain words may be off limits.

My FWB for example will talk very dirty but just will not use the word 'tits' at all and hates me using it too.

Initiate a light-hearted conversation in which you tell him you had a sex dream in which he was talking dirty you (insert whatever particular phrases do it for you). Say you were surprised how much it turned you on, and that you woke yourself up cumming. He'll definitely try to emulate your fake dream next time the two of you are in bed together.

Personally, I find this approach less awkward than just saying 'Please can you talk dirty to me'. Plus it let's the man think it's his initiative.

With the texting thing, I've found that men who talk a big talk in messages are then disappointingly silent and awkward once we're actually fucking. Whereas I had one partner who wasn't much into sexting at all, but in bed he just somehow knew how to press every one of my psychological buttons with a few well chosen words.

Thanks all, some great advice, now to put it to use.

DH is good at very frank compliments and telling me what he wants to do - I am however not at all a fan of being called a filthy whore or slag, dirty bitch/slut etc. So it really helps if you can be clear about what kind of dirty talk works for you too. I’d start with compliments. Gradually get more frank, use ruder words?

He and I like verbal sparring, sexting etc too. He can come up with the most appalling double entendres, snogging/sex can be interrupted by fits of giggles…