Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Original poster

Crying after masturbating

25 replies

user456889 · 25/02/2022 22:14

Does anyone else experience this?
I’m not usually a crying person but after I masturbate I get emotional and I don’t know why.

OP posts:
Mermaidwaves · 25/02/2022 23:13

I often cry and feel intense guilt, it's really horrible actually. I'm sadly single and a betrayed ex wife and feel sad when I think about sex and how I may never have it again, I definitely have some trauma there.

Mysticguru · 26/02/2022 12:32

It could be simply an emotional release from stress. Do you feel guilty afterwards?

PerditaPerdita · 26/02/2022 14:41

Yep. Not a bad thing. It feels like a kind of extreme vulnerability but also relief as you know you're safe. Perhaps it's an oxytocin high?? Definitely a chemical reaction.

Pisces89 · 26/02/2022 23:39

No I've never experienced this OP. It sounds like a build up of stress maybe?

StarlightLady · 27/02/2022 09:16

OP, are these like tears of happiness following the huge feeling of release?

Or are they like “sad tears”, in which case how was your upbringing? Are you feeling unnecessary and certainly unwarranted guilt?

RosieBenenden · 28/02/2022 10:29

I have stopped masturbating for this same reason. I was finding it degrading and cheap and i honestly knew its not for me now im 47. i want real sex but masturbating for women is emotional and not like it is for men. why not stop for 3 months and see if abstaining is working for you?

StarlightLady · 01/03/2022 06:08

I’m afraid l don’t thinking stopping for 3 months would help, especially if doing so is not helping needs.

Maybe increasing and releasing tension more often would be more beneficial and help prevent the tears build up.

It is not an age related thing to stop after a certain age and it should not feel degrading and cheap. I accept we are all different but that does seem to reflect a “nice girl’s don’t “ male driven attitude.

I’m early 40s and participate most days. That is in addition to regularly enjoying 1:1 sex as well. The needs are so different. One is about sharing the other is about me.

MrsGHarrison87 · 08/03/2022 22:04

@RosieBenenden

I have stopped masturbating for this same reason. I was finding it degrading and cheap and i honestly knew its not for me now im 47. i want real sex but masturbating for women is emotional and not like it is for men. why not stop for 3 months and see if abstaining is working for you?
It's a natural human impulse to need to orgasm. You can have real sex too but I find it empowering to make myself cum by myself and with my own thoughts in my head. Nothing degrading about it.
Od130990 · 09/03/2022 04:48

I wouldn't abstain from it, it sounds more like a build up and you're not doing it often enough if you don't have regular sex with a partner; you should probably indulge more.
Also reaching climax is super beneficial for lots of health reasons not to mention it's great for looking more youthful and glowing skin 😁 win-win Op

Bbub · 19/03/2022 16:33

This has happened to me a few times. I don't feel any guilt or shame around it but the intense sexual feelings make me miss my ex sometimes and I can feel quite lonely.

Annwen · 20/03/2022 09:46

I often find the tears flowing after orgasm, whether during sex or through masturbation. I have absolutely no problem with that - it just reflects the emotional intensity of the moment. It's only if there are feelings of guilt that there's cause for concern and a need to address those feelings.

Namechangednorth · 20/03/2022 09:47

I have done once but was with DH....he wanted to try a vibrator which he used on me. The experience and orgasm was so intense and kept going that I cried at the end....felt a bit stupid but he loved he had done that

Annwen · 20/03/2022 09:51

I often find the tears flowing after orgasm, whether during sex or through masturbation. I have absolutely no problem with that - it just reflects the emotional intensity of the moment, and sensitive partners react positively to it. It's only if there are feelings of guilt that there's cause for concern and a need to address those feelings.

Annwen · 20/03/2022 09:52

Sorry - though the first posting hadn't gone through!

tigerbird · 21/03/2022 20:04

Isn’t this quite normal? It’s called postcoital tristesse - various philosophers have written about it IIRC!

Doesn’t have to be after masturbation, can occur after sex too. Have a quick Google of it OP, it’s a well known feeling. I’d just switch up the masturbation situations and techniques - try after a sexy film (not necessarily porn!) or with a glass of wine or two, or reading erotica in the living room, or something different instead of whatever you normally do with masturbation. And not worry about it - it often happens transiently for a while.

tigerbird · 21/03/2022 20:19

If may well just be caused by a sharp drop in hormones in the brain after orgasm!

PaddlingLikeADuck · 24/03/2022 07:26

I want real sex but masturbating for women is emotional and not like it is for men….

Isn’t it?????? Shock

I certainly don’t feel any emotional connection with masturbating and I do it purely because it feels amazing.

I save the emotional connections for when I’m having sex with my husband.

RosieBenenden · 24/03/2022 08:57

I get this. I dont really enjoy masturbating but for the past 2 years my DH and i have stopped sex. we just dont connect any longer and i masturbate maybe weekly but i find it degrading. its a means of release for me but one i dont genuinely enjoy. i so wish i did. message anytime.

PaddlingLikeADuck · 24/03/2022 10:05

Genuine question…

What is degrading about masturbation?

I only ask as a few people have said that now.

StarlightLady · 24/03/2022 10:24

@PaddlingLikeADuck - It’s not degrading. It should be quality “me time”.

Estherpologist · 26/03/2022 10:07

I don't cry, but increasingly I feel crushingly sad and lonely after, and sometimes stop before I climax because of those same feelings. For me it's tied in with getting divorced, even though it never happened whilst enduring a sexless marriage.

19Bears · 31/03/2022 23:11

I understand this. Sometimes I cry at the fact I don't have anyone to do this with me, and with everything else in life I just have to get on with it myself. Then there's the 'guilt' as if I've done something wrong. But also I do think there's a chemical thing going on in your brain as soon as the feeling of release is gone. It's a very complex emotional thing, sex. Sadly me and DH haven't had it for 11 years and I feel it's almost alien to me...

Furrbabymama87 · 05/04/2022 14:11

It's not degrading. Anyone who thinks it is obviously has their own issues.

Primtemps · 10/04/2022 08:56

There is a syndrome POIS. I get this after DIY so I try to abstain.

Freddy12 · 10/04/2022 20:31

My ex used to cry after cumming almost every time

New posts on this thread. Refresh page

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.

Swipe left for the next trending thread