To tell a Casual partner about historical abuse?

[Frank101]

I've been in a casual sexual relationship for about 6 months. He knows I've got ptsd, but not why. I feel like it's holding me back in bed, but it feels like it's a hell of a heavy thing to tell a casual partner.

What would you do?

Op - that's a tricky one. I've been with my FWB for just over a year, and have told her about some of the things that have happened in my life.

For instance, we recently saw the film Belfast together, which brought back quite emotional memories of me living there as a very young child in the early 60's. She was amazingly supportive, despite us really only having a casual relationship.

Have you shared anything else with him? How has he reacted? Do you think he would be supportive, or are you concerned it might scare him off?

We've known each other for over 10 years, he saw the aftermath of the abuse in all its alcohol fuelled glory - and knows I'm now sober - and he's always been supportive over things both then and now. He probably suspects, he's the quiet, sensitive, gentle type.

Op, from what you say, it sounds like he is the right kind of person to confide in - particularly if you think it will improve your play time!

Personally I regret telling a previous partner.. it become an issue for me because if i felt uncomfortable I felt he was judging me. Nothing to do with him making me feel uncomfortable though!

I wouldn't.

Once when my FWB and me were lying in the dark, all close and woozy after DTD, I opened up about how I'd been groomed and abused by a middle aged man when I was 10.

My FWB was a sweet, sensitive, highly educated man, so I thought it was safe to confide in him. I'd never told anyone before. He said nothing, just listened attentively and gave me a few hugs and kissed my forehead.

A couple of weeks later he let slip that he'd used what I told him to get himself off whilst alone.