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Discussing sex with Teen DS

7 replies

SexEdDS · 09/02/2022 13:31

My DS is 16 in the summer, he doesn’t have a gf and doesn’t seem interested in relationships at present. I have had chats with him about sex, contraception and consent in the past. He has a much younger sister, so this is my first time parenting a teenager.
Is this enough?

OP posts:
outdooryone · 09/02/2022 15:33

I made sure that I emphasised that there are choices - and there is no 'right or wrong', and I would be there no matter the choices they made. In fact I was open to them speaking to me about anything - and one has been quite inquisitive/graphic.

MrsGHarrison87 · 09/02/2022 19:21

I would just go with what feels comfortable for him. I have a slightly younger teen and we had the talk a couple of years ago when he was 11. I made sure he knows the basics, but didn't overload him with information. As your son is nearly 16 he probably knows everything. You could just reinforce his knowledge of contraception and consent and be casual about things rather than sitting down and having a big speech which could be embarrassing for you both.

MintyFreshBreath · 16/02/2022 21:14

When I had the talk with my son I focussed a lot on consent and made it clear that if the girl said the word no at any point, things were to stop there and then. No questions asked. I focussed far more on that than pregnancy and contraception because as we all know, it’s the males that seem to always get the blame when it comes to questions raised around consent. I tried to drum it into him that one night stands were a terrible idea as he might not know the age of the girl either and could end up sleeping with someone underage but unintentionally. Fortunately he’s now in a steady relationship with someone 8 years older than him to we’re all good there!

Lightning020 · 18/02/2022 12:36

Surely they learned from the age of 8 in primary school and you just say a bit more here and there as they get older. It has been compulsory in schools to learn from that age. Ds is 16.

PinotPony · 22/02/2022 09:01

My DS is 16. Like other posters, I've focused on chats about consent. A conversation about a footballer accused of rape opened up a dialogue over dinner.

They have learned about the mechanics and contraception in school. I've just said that, if he needs condoms at any point, I have some he can use. He laughed and said they get them for free at college.

SexEdDS · 22/02/2022 21:54

Thank you for the responses.
I think my main concerns are consent and him protecting himself contraception wise and that they are both responsible for that regardless of whether she is taking contraceptives. I think at some point, I will purchase some condoms and let him know where they are.

OP posts:
CherryDamsel46 · 04/04/2022 14:10

It can be a tricky topic for a Mum to approach with her son and I regret not speaking to him more openly about it when my son was a teen.

Good idea re condoms, I actually caught my son sneaking them from my room when he was a teen, although I think it was more out of curiosity than anything but I bought him a box after that and let him know he can come to me about anything like that.

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