Casual sex. Feeling disgusting

[Kitten2]

I had casual sex yesterday.
With someone I have been fooling around with for a couple of months.

I enjoyed it the first few times we met up and did this, he really turned me on. But I just feel horrible this morning. Really disgusted in myself and a bit rejected.

He has stopped putting much effort in and it's become an 'oh I have an hour spare if you come round we can fuck' and I just went with it. I don't know why because I didn't even enjoy it and I knew I wouldn't and now I just feel cheap and easy.

I don't think he has any intention any more of actually going out with me for drinks first and making it anything more than a quickie.

I don't think I want this. I definitely don't feel good about myself afterwards (and I didn't even come because I didn't feel good during it) But should I communicate that to him, or just block and delete.
Can a hook up only partner really have expectations of being treated any other way than this?

I’m so sorry that you’re feeling like this OP. Sadly I don’t think you can expect more with this guy. There’s no longer an incentive for him to make any effort at all - you happily went around to his house just for sex. I imagine if you asked to go for drinks or something now he would probably brush it off, but say you can come over again for a couple of hours if you want.
Its not a popular opinion - but I don’t believe that the vast majority of men are capable of respecting women they just have casual sex with. They’ve been conditioned to think that women who don’t expect anything ‘back’ for sex (dates, phone calls, monogamy, commitment etc) can be treated however. If you feel disgusted, after feeling like it was just a bit of fun before, it might be because you’ve picked up on that lack of respect. I’ve been there! It feels so icky 😢 And if I were you, I would just ghost and take some time for yourself to get your mojo back.

I agree with PP. They have to be respectful! and in this case your boundaries have been crossed. Get shut, move on, find someone who respects you and is considerate of your needs.

I’ve had my fair share of casual sex, more one night stands than FWB but I did have sex more than once with a couple of guys. It didn’t make me feel bad after though because we both knew it was just sex.
If you don’t feel good about yourself after then it’s not something I would continue.

You have to be careful you don't end up being a fucktakaway.
Some men expect sex on tap, like ordering pizza from JustEat.

Agreed you need to set your boundaries and stick to them. I have a FWB who is married so we don’t actually hook up all that often, but we still message and chat in between as the “F” part of FWB was important to both of us - there’s always coffee/drinks and chat before any sex when we do get together. If he ever thought he could just ring me when he wanted sex then it would all be over as far as I’m concerned! We were both clear upfront with what we were looking for so neither of us has unrealistic expectations.

I have a FWB who is quite local, (for us, the F is as important as the B as well) and although we normally make an evening / night / weekend of things, there have been occasions where we have both rung the other up, and arranged a "quickie" - I don't think there is a problem with that, but for us is part of a longer term thing.

Normally, we spend time with each other - chatting about more mundane things like kids, houses etc & have a meal as well as sex, but there is something almost "naughty" and illicit about popping round for just sex...

However, in your instance it sounds like he sees you as a FB, rather than a FWB, and it sounds like you don't want that anymore. "No" is a good word here.

I agree with PP. Set your boundaries. Decide what you want from a casual relationship (if you want another), and don't accept less.

@AverageGuy

Your FWB sounds better than my relationship was!

@freckles999 - it's better in some ways than my marriage was! - but we both know and agree what we want from the relationship (and it is a relationship), and both know there is probably a finite timescale to it, but whilst we are together, we're enjoying ourselves, and that's the point!