To ask you to help me? I can no longer cum.

[NoLongerICan]

Okay, so I've been with a guy I love very much for 3+ years. I have a condition/disability (think FND type thing). I have very little feeling 'below'. Sex is pointless, I can't reach climax anymore. I can't cum by myself anymore.

He doesn't know. I'm so frustrated. What do I do?

Hi OP. Presuming this is real, I'd suggest you ask for this to be posted in the 'sex' topic rather than AIBU.

If you've no feeling down there I'd suggest your first port of call is your GP.

Just like to point out to anyone considering posting details of how they make themselves "cum".... You never know how many cretinous pervs are reading, so best to err on the side of caution and not share.

Indeed brenda

Get some blood tests to rule out vitamin deficiencies etc. Being low on B12 can affect sensitivity in some people.

Well said Brenda.

Are you taking antidepressants OP?

Are you on medication? Some antidepressants can cause problems in this department.

Welcome to MN op 😊

Yep, I took Prozac after my son was born 16 years ago, and I had the same issue.

What's the aibu? I say ltb

If OP has been diagnosed with a functional neurological disorder (FND) then I’m sure she’s seen her GP etc.

Surely you need to start talking to him, OP?

Talk to him and get toys?

I can’t finish would have been more appropriate

@Essexmummy88

I can’t finish would have been more appropriate

It happens to many people try and see your Gp

I don’t think @essexmummy88 needs to see her GP over her prudish policing of OP’s language, @mummykel16.

@sparklinglime

@SparklingLime

I don’t think *@essexmummy88 needs to see her GP over her prudish policing of OP’s language, @mummykel16*.

Hi all. We've had a look behind the scenes and can see that the OP has been on the site for several years. We've moved this one over to the Sex topic for now.

@SparklingLime

I don’t think *@essexmummy88 needs to see her GP over her prudish policing of OP’s language, @mummykel16*.

Thanks Michael. Yes, I've been on MN for donkeys years! Excuse the language if it offends you.

Yes I've seen my GP and neurologist. I don't know what to do anymore.

What would I even say to him (DP) ?

Well, presumably he knows your diagnosis and the potential effects of it? Was this loss of sensation a known possibility? Perhaps start talking about the effects of your FND in general and then tell him what is happening to your ability to feel anything sexually? What do you want to happen? To stop having sex?

I’m really sorry you are going through this.

Hi @NoLongerICan I'm sorry that you are struggling with this. Have you come across the work of Jenny Keane? She is on Instagram as @hellojennykeane and she posts lots about the female orgasm. She also runs online orgasm workshops - everyone keeps their knickers on & you don't need to have your cameras on. She also has a website.
Also Dr Karen Gurney is on Instagram as @thesexdoctor She runs specialist clinics related to sexual issues and has a book called Mind the Gap.
Good luck OP, I hope you get sorted.

You can just openly tell him that you want to talk about something, that it’s not easy for you to bring it up due to being embarrassed (even though of course you needn’t be but it doesn’t always follow logic, does it) and tell him that you love your sex life and want it to continue but that due to your illness, your nerves are not functioning/responding as they used to and would it be ok with him to try toys to see if they work? I’m kind of numb but I think it’s due to sexual abuse for me and that’s how I spoke with my DP and he was completely fine with it. You can get quite powerful vibrators and people review them, I believe, probably even on youtube. Maybe you can have a hormonal panel as low testosterone or estrogen can also have an effect, I believe. Women need testosterone too.