Sex with younger men - ok or not?

[ChameNanged76]

I'm recently single after a 10 year relationship, I'm early 30s.
I've joined a dating app and honestly - I'm only after a casual relationship/FWB type set up. I don't want a relationship at all for now.
I've found that when "browsing" these apps, I am naturally more attracted to men in their early-mid 20s! I've never really looked at younger guys, but I think given the type of thing I'm looking for, with no strings, expectations and/or baggage that comes with us the older we get, I seem to be swiping more on younger guys.
They also seem to be way more keen and ready to set up dates (seem to like the idea of a woman in their 30s).
Obviously it's not illegal, or even close, but when I've mentioned this to friends they seem to he pretty split in their opinions - those that disagree seem to he disgusted by it as well, with quite extreme reactions.
Now, I know some younger guys can look a lot younger, but any of of the ones I've chatted to look/seem mature for their age.
Is this deemed totally inappropriate?

Personally, I am also early 30s, 2 long term relationships since the age of 19. Though I don't find myself attracted to younger men, I don't see the issue personally. I usually dated older men, so why can't it be the other way round? (not saying we are old, but older than early 20s) they're adults and can consent at the end of the day.

I'm mid 30s and like younger men. My husband is a few years younger than me. If I was single I wouldn't go younger than 25/26 though. And that would be just sex, I wouldn't have a relationship with someone who was a lot younger than me.

A young(ish) bloke and an older experienced lady who would teach the man and would appreciate the vigour of the performance.
Sounds like a Win Win for say, 12 months.

I’m sure the younger guys would love it, it’s a common fantasy

My remark about 12 months only is not entirely a joke.
It might be good for you both as sex.
But you might want to have a relationship with someone more mature and form a family after say a year.

It might be a way you can put the idea in a box for it to work itself out.

I'm mid 40s. Split with ex after 22 years.

Went on the dating apps to find a FWB. Found 2 long term FWBs who were 49/50.

Hooked up with a 29yr old and 33yr old along the way. They talked like they wanted a long term FWB, but after a few weeks of chat, then 2 dates with each, we went our separate ways.

I saw nothing wrong with it at all. We were having fun and were attracted to each other. The older guys had more of an ability to chat around life and were better listeners.

I'm now with someone who is more of a I want to settle down with you type.

If you like them, whatever their age, go for it and have fun!

Someone's age in years is in no way a reliable guide to their maturity, physical stamina, sexual ability and knowledge, or emotional intelligence.

The same is true for both women and men. Date and have sex with anyone to whom you are attracted, if that is what you wish.

I'm a little younger than you (29), but have found myself in a similar position after joining dating apps after a long term relationship ended. I thought the same as you tbh at first, but I've been regularly seeing a 21 year old for a few weeks now. We get on really well, I have 0 complaints, he has 0 complaints and I think that's all that matters. Although it's not a situation I would of thought I would have found myself in so I say go for it!

When I was 23 I had a 6 year FWB relationship with a woman 9 years older than me. It was great fun and we were very compatible.

I was 'educated' ;)

You go for it and have fun.

I had a brief fling with a 22 year old (quite mature in many ways) a few summers ago. Absolutely no regrets at all. I was 39. The arrangement worked perfectly well for both of us. He's a neighbour who I see out and about. Still on nod and say hello terms. I say go for it obviously 😂x

My DH is a lot younger in years but way more mature and sorted emotionally than me.

I’d say if you’re both adults, no plan beyond getting to know each other and treating each other with respect/honest expectations , why not? I’d say it’s less likely to lead to a LTR but if he’s Mr Right for You Now, dont overthink it OP! And it’s not your friends dating, it’s you. Do what is right for you, keep safe, and good luck. 💐

A genuine female wanting a more casual sexual relationship is going to find there's a lot of choice. At 49 I had good times with men aged from 27 to 60. I got approaches from 18 year olds: definitely not for me.

I would just stop informing all your friends what you're up to. People will always have opinions and they're often far more about what's going on in their own lives than some considered objective moral standard.

I am fast learning (female, 42, divorced) that everyone has an opinion on what I should or should not be doing as a single woman dating. They all mean well, want me happy, safe etc.. but it I followed all advice I wouldn't be able to leave my house!

So I do what makes me happy life is short and so my advice is to do the same. xx

Just go for it, it's not even that much of an age gap. Young men are the obvious choice for casual relationships: better in bed and (usually) more fun to chat to.

OP, it’s your life and for you to enjoy. Do exactly that. If you are looking for a long term relationship, maybe it could be an issue. Otherwise definitely not.

I’m early 40s and have enjoyed the company of early 20s through to early 50s. It’s what’s inside that counts.

If you are checking in to an hotel with someone younger, be prepared for the would you prefer 2 singles question. But lesbian couples get this all the time. Just decline and wink at the receptionist as you look them in the eye!

I know a couple like this, they seem happy, been together for about a year. They started going out between the lockdowns.
Maybe she was on rebound from divorce, moved to new job I think.

Late 30s dating a man almost 15 years younger . Probably get judged but I don't care , he's lovely and more mature and 'with it' than my exes in their 30s/40s. He is totally devoted, affectionate , consistent , energetic .
Can't complain 🤷🏻‍♀️

This arrangement makes sense to me as many women retain a much more youthful appearance and demeanour as they age than their male counterparts.

People who are against this are usually jealous , in my experience

I'm a 20 year old man and more into women around your age. Brought a 28 year old home a few weeks ago. So personally I don't see anything wrong with it but then most men my age would probably say that.

Nobody would say its inappropriate if you were a man saying that you were more attracted to women in their early to mid twenties. Some people just have double standards

I’m in a similar situation to you, there’s 20+ years between me & my fwb, although it doesn’t feel like it, as he is really together, which helps, I guess. We started off chatting and it gradually grew into how we are today ……. living at opposite ends of the country & catching up when we can. I have parenting responsibilities & he travels a lot with work, so it isn’t very often, but we make the most of our time together. He isn’t phased by interacting with my child, in fact they get on really well. I have chosen only a few of my friends to tell them about him, mainly as I know there will be disapproval from some quarters. However, this is what I need at the moment, chilled, no pressure & fun! We message every morning & evening pretty much, as well as during the day - but understand that we are both busy, so if we don’t it’s fine. My last relationship was pretty toxic and I am still having to deal with some aspects of it, so this is the perfect antidote! I would say, don’t worry about what other ex say, if it works for you, that’s all that matters. You only get one shot at life, so do what makes you happy & not everyone else!! x

My best mate and I have both been on and off the apps over the last couple of years. Mid 40s and both get far more attention from men in their 30s than anyone else. She's currently happily dating a lovely guy 16 years her junior.

Do what make you happy!

I'm 48 and have been dating my 30 yo partner for 2 1/2 years. Started as a very casual sexual relationship then we developed feelings for one another.

He's mature for his age and very intuitive as to how I'm feeling. I love his endless energy and humour. My friends adore him. My parents think he's after my money!

We see each other every couple of weeks which is perfect as I'm working and he's studying. No intention of moving in together and I suspect the relationship has a limited lifespan but we're enjoying it while it lasts.

I find a lot of men my own age either immature, want someone to look after them, or stuck in their ways. I don't have any age criteria now, as long as they're over 28.
Take no notice of your friends. You know what you're looking for nd no one else matters.