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Original poster

Help needed about sex from behind

26 replies

Embark · 22/01/2022 15:22

So I haven’t really ever been able to have sex from behind in the past as I have a titled womb/cervix so I think it is an angle thing…. So I have always avoided it from behind.

New partner and I really want to be able to have it from behind! Any tips or advice on how to get it right??

OP posts:
Original poster
Embark · 22/01/2022 15:23

Also how to guide him in without it being embarrassing/weird??

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Wandawide · 22/01/2022 17:24

Does he want to be standing? If so that might hurt.
We often do it as spoons, I can move so as to stop him going in deep and he won't realise I am manoeuvring him. It was the only way when I was pregnant. (DD was totally in wrong place).
If laying on your sides you can guide him in nicely and he will enjoy being handled.
His groin and your arse are the bits that need to contact, if his chest is close to your back it will not be the right angle. My DH slides almost under me and his arms are really extended as we cum.
Hope that helps. Remarks on doggie later if you need. Let us know if it works

Original poster
Embark · 22/01/2022 18:51

@Wandawide thanks. He loves it from behind, talks about over the kitchen table type thing… I love the idea but the practicalities are an issue for me as i find it embarrassing! We haven’t tried yet, just how it has been, not deliberately. When I see him next weekend I want to try. I have never done it doggy either… he has a lot of girth so a little concerned about that too Blush

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Blushingm · 22/01/2022 20:09

I also have a tilted uterus and I've never had an issue - if anything from behind is probably my favourite

Original poster
Embark · 22/01/2022 21:34

@Blushingm oh no really?? Must be something really wrong with me then Blush

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altmember · 22/01/2022 22:27

There's a whole load of 'from behind' positions, besides the text book doggy. It may well be possible to find some (or many) that give you the angles that aren't uncomfortable. As a PP mentioned, spooning is a good place to start, so you can discover what variations of angles work for you. Similar would be reverse cowgirl - just like doggy but with him laid on his back and you on top so you have full control of the angles and depth.

Even doggy can afford a range of angles - it just comes down to the height of your hips relative to each other and how much you arch your back. Can alter the height of you hips by altering the angle of them and your legs - anywhere between having your legs at 90 degrees, to right down flat with your back arched (prone).

Original poster
Embark · 23/01/2022 05:58

Thanks @altmember I think I struggle with the whole guiding him in thing? Even when I’m on top, I don’t know what it is but if he doesn’t end up inside me ‘naturally’ I get all panicky about having to guide him in with my hand? As if there is something wrong with me? I have no idea why but I want to get over that!

Is it ‘normal’ to have to guide a guy in with your hand??

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Wandawide · 23/01/2022 08:00

Where were we?
If he is behind you he can see where his is, you can't see either his or yours at most angles; therefore it is up to him to work that bit out!!
If you are getting anxious then your fanny won't relax and it will feel tight and if he is a larger diameter he must help you relax those muscles.
He should give you a good (gentle) stroking and licking first. That will get you really moist.
When will you try all this out?
Kitchen table is a fairly common idea/fantasy. Check how tall he is and how high your heels are. That one should be a later lesson, get the basics right, on a bed, no clothes and warm and comfortable.
After writing this at this time I think I know what we will be doing this afternoon!

curmudgeonly007 · 23/01/2022 08:09

Is it ‘normal’ to have to guide a guy in with your hand??

In something like missionary, I would say, no, but with other positions, I would say it not unusual, when my partner goes onto, she normally uses a guiding hand.
As PP says lube helps natural or added.

Sparkybloke · 23/01/2022 08:10

Man here...my OH often guides me in when we are in the dark having a gentle session without wanting to disturb kids! Most men, I suspect, rather enjoy their partner grasping their penis!. I love it when she holds my penis and rubs it gently around her vulva first. She then usually holds it in the appropriate spot and gently moves back so I slip inside or I can gently thrust so it enters herGrin. If you get to the kitchen table with the lights on he should be able to see where he is going!!! Hope this is not tmi!

Original poster
Embark · 23/01/2022 08:45

How Can a guy ‘see’ where he is going though?? Without risking shoving it up my arse?! I don’t want him on hands and knees behind me inspecting ShockGrin if you think about it, from behind is the most unnatural position in that the vagina points towards the small of your back, not straight up vertically inside, so missionary type positions are following the natural path so you speak but from behind it doesn’t as the guy will have to sort of bend?!

@Wandawide sadly this won’t be until next weekend now!! Jealous of your forthcoming afternoon sesh Wink

Yes being relaxed is definitely my issue… also I have a bit of an awful past with an abusive exh who was very dominating and sex from behind for me is a little triggering as in it is kind of ultimate ‘power’ for the guy (as films will lead you to believe as generally portrayed as being aggressive) and I want to get rid of those negative thoughts and embrace it. I LOVE it when a guy comes up to me from behind and starts using his hands, I want to progress that love into the bedroom!!!

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curmudgeonly007 · 23/01/2022 08:58

How Can a guy ‘see’ where he is going though??

You don’t ‘see’, it’s hard to describe but you kinda feel, and learn from experience, sometimes I’ve used a finger or 2 to guide, or sometimes you dip slightly and position underneath
Also depends on the height of the 2 people in relation to each other, my Ex w was quite short, so she would kneel on the bed and I would stand behind, Ex partner was quite tall, so we could both stand, and that was really good, as I could get my hands all over her, 😉

Original poster
Embark · 23/01/2022 09:10

@curmudgeonly007 There’s a bit of a height difference between us but i like that!
One position that is a bit tricky that I have liked in the past is guy laying on his back, I lay on top but face up. Great for hand play. I guess like spoons but on your back. I find spoons I feel conscious of my belly as gravity is not a friend Grin

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MissNothing1991 · 23/01/2022 09:15

@Embark

How Can a guy ‘see’ where he is going though?? Without risking shoving it up my arse?! I don’t want him on hands and knees behind me inspecting ShockGrin if you think about it, from behind is the most unnatural position in that the vagina points towards the small of your back, not straight up vertically inside, so missionary type positions are following the natural path so you speak but from behind it doesn’t as the guy will have to sort of bend?!

@Wandawide sadly this won’t be until next weekend now!! Jealous of your forthcoming afternoon sesh Wink

Yes being relaxed is definitely my issue… also I have a bit of an awful past with an abusive exh who was very dominating and sex from behind for me is a little triggering as in it is kind of ultimate ‘power’ for the guy (as films will lead you to believe as generally portrayed as being aggressive) and I want to get rid of those negative thoughts and embrace it. I LOVE it when a guy comes up to me from behind and starts using his hands, I want to progress that love into the bedroom!!!

I completely sympathise with you about it being triggering. I had similar circumstances and to this day, I will not let anyone come at me from behind, either in the bedroom or even just to give me a hug. I will start shaking like mad and it makes me both scared and mortified. Perhaps this is why I appear to be chronically single, it's been a problem for most men I've liked since sadly!

I am rooting for you though, best of luck working through this :)

Original poster
Embark · 23/01/2022 09:21

@MissNothing1991 oh bless you, I hear you. It’s hard isn’t it. I’m ready to work through it now. I WANT to do it, and new partner is a friend beforehand so I trust him so I want to be able to enjoy it.

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PinotPony · 23/01/2022 09:21

Guiding a penis into the vagina is very often necessary and nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a penis, not a heat-seeking missive!

If you are self/conscious, just ask him to do it. He doesn't need to examine you or feel around too much. If he puts the tip of his penis on your vulva near the opening and pushes a little, it should slide in... assuming you're turned on and wet.

There are lots of positions from behind... you standing, bent over, on all fours. Sometimes the position feels quite "deep", so just ask him to go slowly and gently when you start off. If it feels I'm uncomfortable, change position. And there's no need to think that girth would be an issue any more than it would be in missionary.

Have fun experimenting!

Original poster
Embark · 23/01/2022 09:23

Thanks @PinotPony. I haven’t slept with loads of guys so I don’t know if it’s ‘normal’ to guide a guy in!

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MissNothing1991 · 23/01/2022 09:37

[quote Embark]@MissNothing1991 oh bless you, I hear you. It’s hard isn’t it. I’m ready to work through it now. I WANT to do it, and new partner is a friend beforehand so I trust him so I want to be able to enjoy it.[/quote]
I'm so happy for you. I hope to feel the same one day. And I hope everything works out for you both :)

curmudgeonly007 · 23/01/2022 09:52

@Embark

Thanks *@PinotPony*. I haven’t slept with loads of guys so I don’t know if it’s ‘normal’ to guide a guy in!
Yes it’s quite common, my penis is about 3 feet away from my eyes, in missionary I can essentially “look” where is going, but in something like spoons (which I love. and don’t worry about gravity BTW,) I cannot see where the Vagina is so a guiding hand always helps, and I’m pretty sure you know where your vagina is!
Original poster
Embark · 23/01/2022 10:52

@curmudgeonly007 ok good I’m glad. I will start to guide more!

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StarlightLady · 23/01/2022 10:58

Assisting someone in adds to greater comfort for me. If you are both having trouble with the approach when you are on all fours, try backing on to him at the speed which suits you.

Wandawide · 30/01/2022 17:34

Hi @Embark
Just saying Hello.

Hilda40 · 31/01/2022 17:50

Grasp the penis and say "gosh you're big, let me help guide it in".

Original poster
Embark · 31/01/2022 19:03

Hi @Wandawide @Hilda40 thatproperly made me laugh Grin

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RosieBenenden · 01/02/2022 11:00

maybe use some lube? i like to have knees quite wide apart and arch back to give men a better angle to push in. spoons is good too.

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