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Struggling to orgasm during sex

12 replies

Wavypurple · 20/01/2022 20:26

DP and I have been together for four years. The sex is absolutely amazing. Seriously, really great and I love it. But...

My problem is that I absolutely never orgasm PIV, ever. It feels incredible, absolutely mind blowing but I just cannot get there SadSad I can’t even get there in missionary with him rubbing against me. All clitoral orgasms involve either me touching myself or him doing it.

I really am at my wits end and feel as if I’m missing out massively. Is there anything I can do to help this? Practising on myself maybe? 🤦🏼‍♀️ I have no idea. I know that for some women it’s just not possible but as I say, I feel so close but it doesn’t happen. Or I feel as if it might if he carries on for longer but the poor man has already been going for half an hour with no break 😂

It’s not a mental block as a I feel very comfortable and confident around him.

Any ideas welcome, thanks


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OP posts:
dementedpixie · 20/01/2022 20:43

I imagine most women need extra clitoral stimulation during sex to orgasm and that it's likely that women who orgasm from PIV alone are in the minority so you are not abnormal in any way.

Didimum · 20/01/2022 20:50

Can you try him bringing you to the brink by other methods and then go straight to PIV?

It may be a mental block in the sense that you are assuming, even subconsciously, that it’s not going to happen.

I wouldn’t say you’re ‘missing out’. Plenty of women don’t and can’t orgasm from PIV. But if you want to that’s a valid thing to want.

cosmicbabe · 20/01/2022 20:50

I'm with you sister 🙋🏻‍♀️. It's incredibly frustrating. Especially when you hear stories of other girls squirting and orgasming quickly from PIV... I've been with my BF 3 years and I still haven't achieved an orgasm from PIV. However I have with a vibrator (not vibrating I may add) which frustrates me even more to be honest!

Looking forward to some replies on this topic

JangolinaPitt · 21/01/2022 01:54

Watching with interest as did manage this some years ago before I married with one boyfriend a few times and wish had ‘practised’ more then to get the technique nailedGrin

Hensintheskirting · 22/01/2022 19:54

OP have you heard of "the orgasm gap?" If not, maybe give it a Google. Something like 70% of women (not sure on the numbers but it's the vast majority) do not orgasm just through penis in vagina sex. We have been conditioned to think that that's how a woman should orgasm but, in actual fact most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. You're not unusual, you're not broken, it's not because he's a bad lover. Have you tried using a little bullet vibratory during sex? Or him going down on you and immediately after you've come, you could have PIV sex and he can come? Ladies first?

It's simply a myth that both people should come simultaneously, through PIV sex, for sex to be good.

lostincumbria · 22/01/2022 21:07

My wife never had a PiV orgasm until we started using a larger dildo during sex. I'm pretty average sized and often wonder if it's more about the male anatomy than the female. But I bet the scientists haven't investigated that one!

altmember · 22/01/2022 22:36

Just stimulate your clit (him or you) whilst he's inside of you? I think it's pretty normal to need some 'external assistance' to orgasm during PiV?

LittleKitten1 · 23/01/2022 18:31

I didn't for quite a while. Then I started putting a thick pillow underneath my lower back / butt during missionary. It takes a while in the same position.

I could never come from any more exciting angles. And I have to work hard myself to rub against him while he is pounding. Not as easy as in the movies!

BlokeTarget · 23/01/2022 20:48

Sorry to hear this OP. My DW struggles sometimes with PIV and it can take a while. We stop, have a discussion and we try something else usually me with my hands Grin I think she has no issues when pleasuring herself though.

If you were a man it would be 5 pages of

“Death grip”

And “too much porn , LTB”

Interesting everyone is very supportive if women who cannot orgasm, but if it’s a man who can’t? Abuse.

Tal45 · 23/01/2022 20:59

I don't orgasm from piv alone, it's perfectly normal. Just get him to get you close before piv. Personally I find sex while I orgasm distracting and so not as good, I prefer to orgasm separately.

Exiledmancguy · 24/01/2022 18:00

My wife unexpectedly had a vaginal orgasm out of the blue a few months ago - for the first time in over 15 years together. We then managed to repeat this a few times since by getting into a modified missionary position, with her legs pretty close together and my legs directly on top of hers.

She says her thighs get a bit tired though definitely leads to a more intense and longer lasting orgasm so seems to be worth the effort. Can take a little while too so definitely requires bit of staying power on my part!

Piggyk2 · 24/01/2022 21:29

@BlokeTarget

Sorry to hear this OP. My DW struggles sometimes with PIV and it can take a while. We stop, have a discussion and we try something else usually me with my hands Grin I think she has no issues when pleasuring herself though.

If you were a man it would be 5 pages of

“Death grip”

And “too much porn , LTB”

Interesting everyone is very supportive if women who cannot orgasm, but if it’s a man who can’t? Abuse.

True
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