Does it ever come back?

[Velvetorsilk]

I am 41, had first baby last January.

During my pregnancy I completely went off sex. I did have sex with my husband a couple of times in the early days but as I got bigger it just got more uncomfortable and I was tired and felt fat and unattractive (I did gain quite a bit of weight on top of ‘normal’ pregnancy weight.)

I have mostly lost the weight now and I do have sex with my husband but I don’t enjoy it at all. Last week he clearly wanted to make love, I went along with it because he’s a good, kind man I love and I don’t want him to feel rejected, but I’m just now sexually attracted to him in the slightest. It’s a platonic love.

Is it wrong I sleep with him just to make him happy? I don’t think so … but I’m just thinking about the laundry and if the toddler is napping how I could be chilling and relaxing not having sex 😂

I would like another child and i don’t hate sex, I just find it boring and it feels like another task to be done every week rather than borne out of love and desire.

No advice as feel the same and live in fear of an affair.

I think this issue is not discussed as much as it should, especially with the MN diktat that you should only have sex if you want it...which is right ethically, BUT what about those in the OPs position and I think there is a lot of women that at times in their lives feel like that. The simple fact is they know that ultimately the other view is that no person (so M&F ) should have to stay in a sexless marriage and the associated loss of attachment that brings.

@Velvetorsilk you may get more traffic moving this to the Relationships section as whilst sex based, that's the side issue really.

I'm lucky that I didn't feel that this during or after pregnancy but I would totally understand someone deciding to have doses even if they didn't want to to keep their relationship together and avoid the inevitable affair that comes at some point