WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN YOUR FAMILY FIND OUT YOU'RE ON A SWINGERS SITE?!?!

[SurferBoy02]

Someone has just sent two of my Aunties (I have seven of them, and I'm a man) photos of my content on a swingers site. My mum has just found out about it and now I just don't know what to do but feel humiliated and apologise.

I wasn't even on there to meet people, I'm not in to any of it. Dating sites like tinder and pof etc have absolutely destroyed my self confidence and it just felt like the only way a girl was going to talk to me. I wanted to at least feel like I was good enough. I just knew that people on there were a lot more open to talking to others so it just felt like it was the only way. What on earth should I do?

I think they should be apologizing not you!
You haven't done anything wrong.

I've just picked my siblings up from school and dropped them off to my mum and she pulled me up on it right in front of my brother and his friend. I'm still only young (19) so I think I was quite naïve in giving out my first name, the town that I live in and a photo of my face on there, making it pretty easy for them to find me on social media.

Style it out and say someone else has put it up there for a prank,

What you should do is be absolutely furious at this gross invasion of your privacy. You are allowed to be on these sites, there isn't anything dodgy about communication between consenting adults.

Definitely be a bit more anonymous profile wise so you aren't as easily identified by nosey Aunties (and what were they doing on there is what I'd be asking )

For now, be angry and ask them wtf has it got to do with them what you do in your private life??

100% nothing to do with anybody else tell them to mind their own fucking business
You are young and fancy some fun it is up to you !
Nothing wrong at all in seeking adult fun with consenting adults !!!
I would be pissed off and let them know
Don’t apologise or make ANY excuses or explanations It is your life!
Stay safe and have fun
Personally if they ever asked me anything I would just say I’m off swinging!!

If anyone mentions it again you very calmly say... "Well my love life isn't really anybody else's business, is it? It's entirely up to me who I date, who I shag and where I meet them."

Don't apologise. You've done nothing wrong. Dating sites like Tinder are far worse than swinging sites like FAB.

I agree with @PinotPony - just own it, you've nothing to be ashamed of, you're an adult and it's your life. And honestly no one in the real world cares.

So what, it has nothing to do with them.

I think it's mainly because my aunties have now seen photos of my meat and veg. But I think you're right in saying I should be wondering what they were doing on there as well

If you are close with your mom - you can tell her what you told us in your post.
And also tell her discussing it in front of kids isn’t right. Not for you, not for the kids.

@Josuk

If you are close with your mom - you can tell her what you told us in your post. And also tell her discussing it in front of kids isn’t right. Not for you, not for the kids.

It's not that he's a young child. He's 15 so he knew what we were talking about. I've told her what I've said on here but I've got a feeling she isn't going to let this go…

Turn it around and ask what your aunts were doing on such a website? Why were they there? What were they looking for?

Even at 15 - isn’t not a conversation he should be participating in. Plus there is your privacy.

If your mom doesn’t ‘let it go’ - tell her you are in the experimenting phase. Better now than when you are older. Tell her she should be happy you are not investing in leather BBSM getup. Yet:
If she is so intent on being involved with your sex life - start sharing and talking about masturbation and ‘that great move you so on porn’ and ask her opinion as a woman about it….. See how she likes that.

But joking aside. She is having trouble seeing you as a more grown up person. All moms do. Try to have a normal conversation with her and (1) try to define your boundaries - hard as it may be, but you need to remind her you are growing up, and technically an adult (2) ask her what she is actually so concerned with.

@Josuk

Even at 15 - isn’t not a conversation he should be participating in. Plus there is your privacy.

If your mom doesn’t ‘let it go’ - tell her you are in the experimenting phase. Better now than when you are older. Tell her she should be happy you are not investing in leather BBSM getup. Yet:
If she is so intent on being involved with your sex life - start sharing and talking about masturbation and ‘that great move you so on porn’ and ask her opinion as a woman about it….. See how she likes that.

But joking aside. She is having trouble seeing you as a more grown up person. All moms do. Try to have a normal conversation with her and (1) try to define your boundaries - hard as it may be, but you need to remind her you are growing up, and technically an adult (2) ask her what she is actually so concerned with.

They main thing that she seemed to be concerned about was that I had put on there the town I live in so she thinks people will be able to find where we live. I told her I would never have put my address on there but she wouldn't have it. Whenever I try to calmly settle something she always turns it into an argument and then she wonders why I don't speak to her about the things going on in my life

Well she does have a point about your privacy. Sharing your real name, location and photos of your face wasn't very sensible. It's not surprising she is concerned.

Just tell her you've changed your profile and know to be safer in future. They should stop her going on about it.

So are your Auntie’s swingers too? Turn it around on them. Honestly, don’t be embarrassed as you’ve done nothing wrong.

Your Mum isn’t going to ‘let it go’?

How are her boundaries usually and why does she think this is anything to do with her. The person who sent the pictures to your Aunts is a pathetic bully.

At 19 it's nothing to do with your mum . Tell her you wouldn't dream or find it appropriate to mention her sex life