Sex on Friday for first time with FWB

[letsgototown]

So, I have been married for about 15 years. Most of those years were sexless. This summer I decided enough was enough and called a halt to our relationship. We are still living together in separate rooms and have kids. Not sure quite what will happen but probably maintain this for a bjt whilst we figure out. Not many people know.

A guy I knew before my DH has come back into my life via social media. We have been in touch over email etc for a few months and it has got progressively filthier. He is definitely one that got away at the time. It has given me back a libido I thought has died... A relationship isn't on the cards but FWB is. And exploring what that might mean. We are meeting up on Friday. I am beyond excited/nervous that he won't fancy me after all this time. And also I can't believe that I am at the very end of my period. So there may well be a bit of blood there.

My question. Would you have sex knowing this even though he is older then me (I'm mid forties and he is early 50s). Arguably we've both had kids and been around the block but I still feel ridiculously embarrassed to bring it up in potentially heat of moment. Ugh. That's if the sex even happens!

People who have FWB - do you have an 'evening' or is it a couple of hours of fucking and then see you later type thing? I am quite open to this as an adventure but also worried about protecting myself emotionally.

I think you are both really fucking rude and annoying thread jumpers. I am asking genuine questions in a category which is here for this reason. You seem to find that questionable. Which is abusive. I'm going to keep reporting you. Off you fuck.

Congratulations Op! Happy to read that you had a great time.
I’m currently in a similar situation and have just spent my first weekend and sexual experience with my FWB.. and it was fantastic!
Don’t worry about those who are spreading negativity- do what makes you happy!

Thanks @Maze76 it does feel like I've crossed over into another world! Sad in the sense to realise how dead inside I have been for over 10 years. But I feel like I have the desire to discover what I like now.:

Go for it letsgototown.

I'm in a happy marriage but still have a FWB as does my wife. ''Ignore the haters on here. If you come on a sex forum expect to hear about sex.

I hope you continue to be invigorated by the great sex you're getting.

My FWB usually go out for a meal and a few drinks and then back to her house for the night. Sometimes we don't even have sex which is good in itself. We even met during Covid just for a walk in the park.

Keep going for as long as you both desire.

Also, don't be afraid to take other FWBs. I've had others too.

@letsgototown - I'm pleased it worked out well for you. Go you!

"it does feel like I've crossed over into another world" - you've peeked behind the curtain now - I know I could never go back to the kind of relationship I had with my XW...

Re "sex clubs" - do you mean swingers clubs?

If you are considering swinging with your FWB, I'd suggest waiting a few months until you have explored your relationship with him more - jumping into swinging now might be a bit much.

KK isn't a "sex club" as such, its a female led swingers website, where you can potentially meet up with likeminded people for ons / threesomes / foursomes / moresomes. They also run (quite expensive) party nights, mainly in London. It's an option if you are considering swinging as a single female, or a couple.

Another option is Fabswingers - but lots of single guys on it, some pretending to be women and couples, so beware. If considering joining as a single woman, set your filters carefully, or hide your profile, have a look around, and approach those that interest you.

Whatever you decide, just remember you are in control - it's your body, so your rules - and have fun!

@AverageGuy why do you think a bit much? I'm really conscious that I must not get too obsessed with this guy... which is possible. I can't decide if a party is better than a three some from the sense of protecting oneself feelings wise. Have you been to one?

@letsgototown
I made the assumption that you were thinking of going to a swingers club with your fwb - IMHO, as you've just started seeing him, it might be a strain on a new relationship.

I have been to a few clubs, as a single guy, and with a fwb (we had been together for six or seven months before trying one as a couple).

However, if you are planning on flying solo, clubs are great, as long as guys recognise that no means no.

Parties / social events are also good, but you may not want to go alone.

I guess it all depends on what you want, and how any potential partner feels!

Just wondering at your comment about being towards end of cycle. Is that relevant, as in thinking of not using protection? I certainly hope you did, other than that, whatever you like applies.

Kk have a very strict membership policy and you have to be young, attractive and slim. Regular swinger clubs are full of middle aged over weight folk. Enjoy.

@Opentooffers

Just wondering at your comment about being towards end of cycle. Is that relevant, as in thinking of not using protection? I certainly hope you did, other than that, whatever you like applies.

Seriously? Is that your input?

@MrsBerthaRochester

Kk have a very strict membership policy and you have to be young, attractive and slim. Regular swinger clubs are full of middle aged over weight folk. Enjoy.

Ok!

A bit late to the thread, but had to add that the Beppy sponges are your friend for sex dates during menstruation. It’s an oval sponge you tuck inside. Has never failed me. I used to mention I had one in (and why) but recently didn’t bother. Safe to say I’m convinced they are undetectable, throughout any sexual activity. Can be a lil tricky to pull out, but not impossible. Also, fine to leave in for longer than suggested. They are not cheap (shipping to where I live, mainly) so I’m not going to use 3 where one suffices. And my flow can be heavy.

Glad your FWB ‘maiden voyage’ went well, it is quite the thing to resuscitate a dead libido. Joy for body and mind.

Its a bit like escort work, you should get paid.

@1forAll74

Its a bit like escort work, you should get paid.

I don't understand your post.

We're talking about having sex with friends.

Where does work come into to?

Men oftenook for(gullible) women to take to swingers clubs as it means they pay far less to get in. Its a common scam.

Honestly talk about thread going off topic.

[quote AverageGuy]@letsgototown - I have a FWB, and the "Friends" bit is as important as the "Benefits" bit.

We usually see each other twice a week.

We get together mid week for a meal, a chat, and sex - we're normally together for four or five hours, and then at the weekend, when we have longer together, and might do something like go out for a meal, to the cinema etc, and sometimes it's an overnight stay, so we might go to hotel. We're thinking about going on holiday together later this year, which would be a large step for both of us.

As a pp has said there is no right or wrong - the relationship is what you make of it. Decide on what you want out of it (just sex, then imho, thats a FB, not FWB - casual sex and someone to chat to, go out with, etc - FWB), agree that with your potential partner, and go for it"

Do watch out for catching the "feels"...[/quote]
How is this not just a Relationship?

Before I was married I had a FWB. He’d come over to my flat for a shag and then go home. It was fun whilst it lasted, probably about 6 months. We’d see each other 2-3 times a month and chat on WhatsApp in between times.