Talk during sex

[Jumpking]

I'm intrigued.

Last year I split with ex after 23 years. Sex used to not have chat, just a few moans and groans.

One of my FWB wanted to explore talk during sex, as he didn't either. However neither of us really knew what to say! We used to say things like "that's soooo good" and he always used to inform me that his orgasm was on its way.

One guy I chatted to online told me he loved talking dirty and told me he'd like to use phrases with me like

"Give it to me, you dirty/sexy slg/slt/bitch"
"Be my f*ck toy"
He told me he'd pull out of me to ask me if I'd been fcked that hard by an ex and would only continue after I told him how much I needed him to carry on fcking me hard.

I would have been up for trying it had we met (we didn't as he didn't reply for a whole week, twice)

New boyf is a sigher and groaner. He seems to be enjoying how loud he makes me moan. I tell him what I'm liking. He's silent, and tells me after how much he enjoyed himself. I think he might enjoy me being a bit more vocal. I've asked him if he would, and his response is "you do whatever you want to enjoy yourself"

I'm just wondering what normal pillow talk is for you all. And how I can give it a go...what phrases would I start with?

Ask him what you can do for him to make the sex even better as simple as that to get the conversation flowing. We talk about positions, being kind not making anything too strenuous, wet enough, hitting the right spot, do you want more.

I did a workshop on this... here are my notes...

Prep - how do they want themselves / their genitalia to be referred to? Ask!
Dirty talk without declaration - just because you say it, doesn't mean you are intending to do it, can just be fantasy.
Keep it open - "What if I...?", "Maybe I'll do..,"
Be non-specific so your person can write their own adventure - "I'm going to run my tongue where you want it most"
Choices - "do you want me to do X or Y?"
Questions -"tell me about a time when you.... how did it feel?"
Recount a scene - "remember when we..,?"
Talk about what you know / your desires - "I'd like to do XYZ to you"
Pauses - don't fill the silence - build anticipation
Noises - little purrs, sighs, moans, laughter (fun!)
Tone of voice- don't have to whisper but speak calmly and with conviction
Listen to erotica - get ideas!
Create your own audio erotica - listen back to it
Talk to yourself - practice - you know what arouses you!

Hope that gives you some tips and ideas 😁

@PinotPony

I did a workshop on this... here are my notes...

Prep - how do they want themselves / their genitalia to be referred to? Ask!
Dirty talk without declaration - just because you say it, doesn't mean you are intending to do it, can just be fantasy.
Keep it open - "What if I...?", "Maybe I'll do..,"
Be non-specific so your person can write their own adventure - "I'm going to run my tongue where you want it most"
Choices - "do you want me to do X or Y?"
Questions -"tell me about a time when you.... how did it feel?"
Recount a scene - "remember when we..,?"
Talk about what you know / your desires - "I'd like to do XYZ to you"
Pauses - don't fill the silence - build anticipation
Noises - little purrs, sighs, moans, laughter (fun!)
Tone of voice- don't have to whisper but speak calmly and with conviction
Listen to erotica - get ideas!
Create your own audio erotica - listen back to it
Talk to yourself - practice - you know what arouses you!

Hope that gives you some tips and ideas 😁

This is really really helpful. Huge thanks. Lots of ideas there to get started.

For me an important aspect of talking during sex is the feedback it can provide. I want to know whether what I am doing is working, or whether I should be doing it quicker, harder, softer, more gently, etc. Feedback can be in the form of moans & groans, with volume and rapidity serving quite nicely as indicators, or direct verbal feedback.

I really do not like silent sex at all; I would even describe it as creepy, but that is probably just me being weird.

I used to enact an imaginary scenario and talk us and her both through it.
Eg visiting her at uni whilst she was in a lesson, having sex on a desk etc, etc.🐒

Did it a little with Mrs HR, but she doesn't seem as open to or keen, maybe she thinks I'm no good at it.😳🤣