Talk to me about dom sub relationships (curiosity)

[Bella123a]

I have recently started seeing a man who said that he had quite a few dom sub relationships before. He's made it very clear he's not looking for that anymore but has touched on the fact that they were younger and it was almost sexual domination (all consensual) but said after a while it became quite boring for him. Its early days for us but I'm curious what this kind of relationship involves (without asking him).

No two relationships will have the same dynamic or involve the same things. It can range from enjoying being tied up and spanked / tying someone up and spanking them sometimes during sex; to sex always involving an element of domination or power play; to a full on 24/7 lifestyle situation. If you’re curious about what in particular turns him on or what his previous relationships were like then ultimately that’s something only he can tell you, there’s no point extrapolating from other people’s experiences or fetishes what his might be.

It's a tough one really because I don't really want to open any can of worms from the past. All he has said is they were very smitten, he could control their sexual pleasure which turned him on.

Do you need to know any more? He’s told you that in the past he’s sometimes enjoyed a particular kind of sex but ultimately it bored him after a while and it isn’t something he’s sought out since. Unless you want to involve it in your relationship, it doesn’t sound as there’s anything more you need to know?

I possibly don't need to know more but I was curious really.

No two D/s relationships are the same. There are a myriad of motivations and desires that prompt people to engage in power exchange dynamics. Just from a sub point of view, you'll find everything from the little who wants to be a good girl for daddy to the naughty brat who wants the punishment/attention for bad behaviour. There is no D/s norm...

Why don't you want to ask him? There's no harm in expressing a curiosity about it and having an honest conversation about his past experiences even if neither of you have any intent in pursuing it further.

It isn’t ‘almost about sexual domination’ - it is about one person dominating and controlling the flow of sexual activity. It is NOT domination in a sense of forcing himself on the partner.
There are far more people who are into that, than people who extend D/s dynamics into the rest of their life as a couple.

Within D/s sex there is a large spectrum on what people do. How hard core it all gets. Whether it’s they do sometimes or all the time. Etc.

If I were you - I’d actually eventually want to know more. Because - even if he says now that they got bored - it can be said for your benefit now. And he may end up craving it later. So - I’d find out how hard core it all got back in the day.
If it was relatively light - who knows you might enjoy trying some of it one day. Restraints can be a lot of fun.
But if he was getting turned on by pain (it is always consensual in D/s, don’t worry) - then it might not be your cup of proverbial tea.