Boyfriends can't come

[ShyToAsk]

I am a 19 year old student and have had sex with 2 men neither one have come
The first we wereboth virgins but he could not reach orgasm in the nearly 2years we dated although it was a long distance relationship amd we only saw each other every 3 monrhs or so.

My current boyfriend of 2 months has as a student had lots of druggy one night stands but i am his first proper gfand he hasn't used drugs since finishing uni. He isa lovely man and treats me like a princess. I am on the pill so he doesn't use a condom (we have both had recent clear tests) and he can only penetrate because with lots of lube because my muscles tense up and I am very dry. But again he can't orgasm and has to finish himself. Although he says it feels nice. He puts it down to porn and masturbation idont really feel aroused at all.
I am worried rhat there is something wrong with me. I do leak a bit of urine when i trampoline so maybe my muscles are not tight enough? Also that i am asexual because i dont feel aroused, but to be honest i feel very nervous.

I think if you’re nervous then inevitably that will affect your ability to enjoy sex as much as possible and you will find it hard to relax causing your muscles to tense. Before you have sex, do you have foreplay? As you haven’t mentioned that and say when he enters you, you are dry.

There is something very wrong if you are 19 and leak urine. (There’s something wrong at any age, but if you were older and had given birth several times there would at least be a likely known cause.)

Get to the GP about that and sort yourself out before worrying about your boyfriend and whatever his issues might be

I don't know about trampolining, but in gymnastics the majority of women your age have this problem because of the forces generated in tumbling. I dont think that bit necessarily indicates a problem

Firstly, it's not great that you're not aroused when having sex. No wonder you are dry when he tries to penetrate you. It's unusual for someone so young to need lube. What does he do in terms of foreplay? Does he spend sufficient time kissing and stroking you, and playing with your clit to get you aroused and wet? If not, you need to tell him how you like to be touched. Do you get wet when you masturbate?

Secondly, he admits that he can't cum because of porn and masturbation. Look up "death grip". If he is wanking himself very hard and tightly watching porn, he cannot get turned on by a "normal" woman. The solution is for him to stop watching porn and either lessen the amount of masturbation or try to use a lighter touch when he does.

To be honest, he doesn't sound like a very good lover at all. If you are nervous, you need someone who is patient and takes their time to make sure you are enjoying the experience.

I'm 100% certain there is nothing wrong with you. You are just inexperienced and nervous. Either ditch this boyfriend and find a more generous lover or tell your boyfriend that he needs to pay much more attention to your pleasure.

Do you masturbate? If you don't, and have no sexual thoughts, then you may be asexual. If you are, then don't put yourself under pressure to have sex because it simply isn't you. In the same way that there is nothing wrong with having a high sex drive and a frantic sex life, there is nothing wrong with having no libido and no sex life.