Cant seem to increase the frequency

[Cantcook842]

So.... We don't seem to have sex very often. Even though we both want to. We are mid 30s and have been together for 20 years. We've been through a lot together and have a very strong marriage with good communication. But many days or weeks will go by where we don't do it again. But not for any particular reason. It's driving me mad!! He's out at work all day, kids (age 7 and 10) are up and down the stairs and in and out of the bedroom all evening and we all go to bed at the same time so the kids are still awake. I then can't relax to do it because I think they will hear us or disturb us.. My son commented a couple of times asking what the noise was etc. Grandparents have never had the kids overnight for us until 6 months ago when we begged them too. Now the kids are going there to stay over night once a month. Me and hubby go out for a meal /date and are able to have sex and it's great! Any tips to try and increase? Id be happy with once a week.

You go to bed the same time as a 7 and 10 year old?? Maybe changing that is the answer.

Main thing that stands out is you all have the same bed time?? Can they not go to bed earlier, or you stay up a bit later so when you go to bed they will actually be asleep? Apologies if this isn't possible or I'm missing something but that is what stood out

Positives though - 20 years together and still keen to have regular sex rather than just let it be neglected should be applauded, sure you'll find a way!

We all go up to bed at 9 :-/ we aren't night owls and have to be up at 6am lol. I know this is a big part of the problem

What about in the mornings before the household is awake?

Been together since you were 15???

@Joystir59 since we were 16 :-)

@Cantcook842

We all go up to bed at 9 :-/ we aren't night owls and have to be up at 6am lol. I know this is a big part of the problem

You need 9 hours sleep?

Could you both take a morning off work every now and then? Get the kids off to school, go back to bed, have 3 hours in bed together.

Or would the grandparents have them for the evening once a week instead of overnight? Get straight in from work, hot sex, shower together, cup of tea and a cheese toastie then pick them up in their pj's?

Maybe just a small step? On the “grandparent’s night” have sex before the meal. It puts you in good stead for dinner.

Lock bathroom door and enjoy some alone time by running the bath taps. Dampens the noise...

Or as PP suggested, when the DC are in school have some afternoon delight in bed and really go for it.