Spicing things up (sex) not the food kind!

[Sexandchocolate]

I’m just wondering what people’s thoughts are…
If you had been married for many years and had a satisfactory sex life but you want to bring spice to your life and the suggestion to bring sex toys into the bedroom was met with a how would you feel?
I will happily dress up for the odd occasion (generally stockings, nice underwear) and am happy to but let’s be honest, this is purely for him…So why does he not want to do something that will bring pleasure to me.
I should add, in my previous sexual experiences, things have been quite different, in that we’ve been open and experimented but things have always been quite different between us both. He’s a fantastic man in many ways but we have quite different tastes sexually and I guess I have suppressed this!
Is there a way we can change this?

@Sexandchocolate - some men see toys as some sort of competition.. and don't like the thought that you are getting better pleasure from the toy than you are from them.... (which may well be the case!)

There are others (like me) that have no issue with them, and are happy to include them in.

Maybe have a chat with him, to see why / if he has issues with toys?

I think you’re closer to the truth, he did say he didn’t want me using them whilst he was at work (I’m WFH) maybe he thinks they’ll replace him. Will maybe have another chat to him, the thing is I’ve always respected what he’s said but I feel i go out of my way to satisfy him and it would be nice if he would return the favour once in a while.

@Sexandchocolate - hmmm. Sounds a bit controlling to me..

Which, if you are into it, can be fun - no touching or playing until I say... Can be hugely erotic and a massive turn on...

But that's not what this sounds like...

He should absolutely return the favour! As I've posted before, as a more mature guy, I can't repeat or recover like I did before, so I focus on my partners pleasure, which gives me pleasure!

Definitely worth a chat. Life is too short to not be having great sex!

Sorry I should say, he does satisfy me as in foreplay etc but he’s not open to trying things which will enhance my pleasure sometimes.

You could be right, it might be a little controlling. I did message him when he was at work once and said I was playing, I thought he would find it a turn-on but he didn’t react the way I thought he would.

You're not allowed to use toys on your self when he's at work?? Bollox to that! And he also doesn't want them used when he's there?? When are you supposed to use them then?? He needs a good talking to IMO! What's his issue with toys, there are women who can't orgasm without them and I find using them much quicker than manual or oral orgasms - it doesn't mean they replace those things though! He needs to return that respect that you give him and get over his insecurities.

Yes he does need a good talking to.
I have posted about this before. Leaving it till bedtime is too late for us we fall asleep too soon. So we either make a date for Saturday or Sunday afternoon about 4pm with a bottle of wine to open at half-time.
Or we go out and find somewhere quiet to fuck. I know it is colder now but mutual enjoyment in the car is nice.
Think about theses teenagers having sex in the bushes in the corner of a park. They do it. So can we. Maybe it is only a starter course and we get the main feast when we get home.
Start to dominate, see if he responds to that.

I'd expect you wouldn't get a good response if you give him "a good talking to".
A counsellor would probably recommend starting from a place of curiosity. Ask him why he doesn't like the idea of toys. What we're his parents' attitudes to sex? Does he feel insecure about his own performance? What does he regard as the goal of sex? When you understand why he's not keen yiu can hopefully look for ways to change that together.
Good luck. ❤

I wonder if he would let you have some toys that he could control from his work! You can set them off by an app on your phone! Could be majorly horny

Maybe look this up with him and discuss what floats both your boats and start there?

metro.co.uk/2021/06/12/these-are-the-top-sexual-kinks-of-men-and-women-14759594/

Then once the motor is running you can take turns for anything else that is just for you or just for him, for me if it flips the switch for my DW it is a huge turn on for me, good luck!!

Ive never understood some blokes not liking sex toys. i love gadgets and we have a wide collection of toys. If it has a button to press or a remote control all the better.

And it makes the fun last longer, or much shorter depending on what you want

oh and the things you can do with rope. The knots I've learnt. I could be popeye. Its educational.