Scared of sex

[wombatsanddating]

Basically I’m terrified of sex.

I’ve never done it (I’m 26). Neither straight sex nor same sex sex.

It freaks me out. I keep saying I’m asexual but Im not sure I am as I’m not entirely sure what sexual attraction feels like. Im clueless really.

Im autistic too, and only ever been on two dates.

I really need help. Im just clueless and scared.

One thing I do know is I have romantic attraction towards men and women. Whether that is also sexual attraction I am unsure. But I assume I must.

I could really do with some advice.

Maybe you could date a bit, get to know people and work out how you feel about them? And then if you did meet someone you trust, talk to them about your fears. But don't stress over it or feel the need to get it over with as it's something to be enjoyed.

I’m not sure whether romantic attraction and sexual attraction are different.

The only tip l would offer is relax. It’s not rocket science and it is fun when you get it right.

Likewise, ensure when things do happen that you avoid an unwanted pregnancy.

Hi @wombatsanddating. I know this isn’t answering your question directly but I read a book recently and it is quite similar to the situation that you describe. It’s called The Kiss Quotient by Helen Hoang (available on Kindle Unlimited too). It was a good read.

How do you find social situations? Do you socialise or work in an environment where you meet people? I wonder if getting to know someone quite well first would allow you to feel comfortable and so easing some of those fears.

@wombatsanddating - what terrifies you? Is it the intimacy? the act itself? a man’s body? something else? all of it?

Do you pleasure yourself? If so, (and it's not tmi) how often? - you absolutely don't have to respond but think about it. If you are "regular", then I doubt you are asexual.

Do you have a favourite male celeb? Someone at work you look "differently" at? If so, that is sexual attraction.

I agree with PP about finding someone you can get to know well and developing that, but make sure you honest with them about your concerns, and are taking things at your own pace.

Thanks guys.

I don’t masturbate, more because I’m on anti depressants and can’t satisfy myself so it put me off. I haven’t done it too much before I was on anti depressants but it was good I think, I’m not really sure, it just seemed like too much work.

I don’t work unfortunately, I can’t, so don’t meet anyone that way. I kinda enjoy social situations to a certain extent, then start hating it. It’s a fine line. I’m never in situations where I can get to know someone first unfortunately.