Partner doesn't want sex

[August21yellowbaby]

I had a baby boy in august by c section. After being about 24 weeks (when bump started to really show) partner would not have sex with him and said it felt wrong because of the baby/ bump was in the way. It was frustrating but looked online and it seemed common so I thought I'd just have to deal with it and it's not forever. Anyway, my son is now 11 weeks, and my partner still doesn't want sex. We had sex when baby was 3 weeks old and he kept saying how good it was afterwards which it was, and I thought that was the start of our sex life again, but that was the last time. I feel in a way like he only wanted sex then because we actually "weren't allowed" as I told him about the having to wait 6 weeks. At the start I tried being the one to initiate sex but I get turned down, which makes me feel worse. Ive tried to talk to him about it but he says that makes it worse because it puts pressure on it. So now I can't even talk to him about it which I haven't for well over a month and he still doesn't want to. Ive tried doing myself up, I don't know what else I can do, I feel so lonely. I feel like we're just friends who live together but what's strange is we've got on now better than ever. He was on antidepressants (sertraline) for a couple of years but has been off them for a while now so I was expressing sex drive to come back. He has been to the doctors and had testosterone levels checked and all came back fine. I feel like I'm craving attention and I'm scared this will push me away from him and I will look for the attention elsewhere. Any advice ?

It is well-documented that new fathers produce a hormone called prolactin, just as new mothers do. One effect of the hormone in women is to produce breast milk (you may have guessed that from the name), but another is the suppression of the sex drive. This is Nature's way of ensuring that your new infant has the best chance of survival: your having more children while you already have one in the early stages of life means poorer life chances. It really is that simple.

However, we are all different and it does not seem to be doing much to suppress your sex drive. Perhaps it is having a big effect on him though? At this stage, I wouldn't be too worried about it, but make sure that you talk about the situation and that he is well aware of your desire to resume a normal sex life as soon as he is ready.

Best wishes.

Could it be a psychological issue? He could he be having issues seeing you in a sexual way following your pregnancy and becoming a mother?