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It's a sex one

15 replies

hellsbells329 · 26/10/2021 07:56

Firstly, this isn't a LTB thread. It's not dealbreaker territory for me but just after opinions.

I love my dh very much, Been married a year, together for 5 and we have a baby on the way. He's a great guy and we've built a good life together. However our sex life feels like it's never quite flowed naturally. He's late 40s and I'm late 30s. He takes viagra for ED/low libido so I've come to understand that sex isn't going to always be spontaneous. He needs some warning. We dtd about twice a month and it's always really good. But I feel like he's very closed off and uninterested in sex, sometimes it's like he does it as a duty (although he does seem to enjoy it when it happens). I remember once sexy texting him at the start of our relationship and getting nothing back. I also once jokingly asked how we'd manage it with a baby in the house and he just shrugged unbothered. Doesn't feel like it's important to him.

What does play on my mind is that he has a bit of a personal kink (food play) and I know he watches videos of that alone and erm, enjoys himself occasionally. I sometimes feel that that's what truly gets him off and sex with me is more like obligation. We haven't tried this kink together but I have said a few times that I would try it if it were important to him (even though the idea of being covered in custard and cream feels anything but sexy to me). We have watched a few of the videos together so it's good that he's open about that but I just feel a bit deflated.

Is there anything I can do to change our sexual dynamic or is it just something that comes naturally? In the past I've had partners who couldn't keep their hands off me and it just feels all a bit sterile and planned with dh. As I said, not a dealbreaker as I've not got a huge sex drive myself. I'd just like it to be a bit more fun and free.

OP posts:
Suprima · 26/10/2021 08:03

In one word- no

He’s into women covered in custard and expends his sexual energy watching videos of that.

You have offered to be a part of it- but he’s not grabbing that opportunity with both hands? Why?

The kink is his sex life, I’m afraid. His sex life is fetish porn. You aren’t going to get the unbridled, bodice ripping you need from him- because he’s busy wanking off to women sitting on cakes or spraying their faces with whipped cream.

hellsbells329 · 26/10/2021 08:11

@Suprima I think there is a part of him that maybe doesn't want to mix fantasy and real life. Plus it's not the easiest fantasy to reenact....lots of preparation needed that maybe makes him prefer to be an onlooker rather than do it himself.

If what you say is true it is very hurtful but I suppose it's his sexual preference, I know it's something he watched and was into for years before meeting me and I can't expect that to change. If I were more sexually confident and not heavily pregnant I would maybe surprise him and take the lead with it. But yes it does feel very much like he's true enjoyment comes from the fetish stuff Sad

OP posts:
DrinkFeckArseBrick · 26/10/2021 09:01

If its always been like this with you and other partners then I'd say this is who he is and there is little chance of him changing, sorry. I think there is a very small chance of him changing but it is more likely he would promise, try, and then slip back into old habits and you would feel like he was pretending. Sorry OP

hellsbells329 · 26/10/2021 11:22

I think you're probably right. It's not like we don't have a good time when it happens but I just wish there was a little more spontaneity and fun. With previous partners I've sent pics and messages and that sort of thing but it really doesn't seem interested in any of that. It's just like a twice a month duty that needs to be done :(

I can't change his sexuality. If there is something else that turns him on then I either need to work harder to bring it into our life (if that's what he wants) or just accept that this is how it is. I think the worst thing is lack of communication. He denies feeling the way I suspect and just doesn't want to talk openly about it.

OP posts:
SueSaid · 26/10/2021 12:48

I'm not suggesting anyone does anything they are uncomfortable with but surely as far as kinks go this one isn't that bad, not like he's asking you to nail his testicles to a board and tie him up in a straight jacket.

As you have a baby on the way (why when sex is so crap?!) I would try and indulge it. Once a week just put some towels on the bed and get the squirty cream out. If he's likes it you could get sex toys out and you ever know you both may connect a bit sexually. Good luck.

Suprima · 26/10/2021 12:53

@hellsbells329

I think you're probably right. It's not like we don't have a good time when it happens but I just wish there was a little more spontaneity and fun. With previous partners I've sent pics and messages and that sort of thing but it really doesn't seem interested in any of that. It's just like a twice a month duty that needs to be done :(

I can't change his sexuality. If there is something else that turns him on then I either need to work harder to bring it into our life (if that's what he wants) or just accept that this is how it is. I think the worst thing is lack of communication. He denies feeling the way I suspect and just doesn't want to talk openly about it.

You can’t ‘work harder’- this is his problem.

He is choosing the porn and the kink over you. All sexual energy that he instigates is being used for wanking to fetish porn. You are most likely right he doesn’t want to blur fantasy and reality, and this means you are left out in the cold. Any man with a healthy attitude to sex and a harmless kink (as long as this doesn’t encompass porn use, because porn is never harmless) would jump at the chance of inducting the woman he was attracted to into his fantasies.

You need to shift the mindset of you need to ‘work harder’ - all it will do is feeling rejected and like a sex pest, and a failure when it doesn’t work out.

You will not have the spontaneous, intoxicating sex life you desire with him. You sadly can’t do anything about it. Only you can decide if you can live with that, or not.

Suprima · 26/10/2021 12:54

@JaniieJones

I'm not suggesting anyone does anything they are uncomfortable with but surely as far as kinks go this one isn't that bad, not like he's asking you to nail his testicles to a board and tie him up in a straight jacket.

As you have a baby on the way (why when sex is so crap?!) I would try and indulge it. Once a week just put some towels on the bed and get the squirty cream out. If he's likes it you could get sex toys out and you ever know you both may connect a bit sexually. Good luck.

But she’s offered this to him. He hasn’t taken her up on it…
SueSaid · 26/10/2021 13:02

'But she’s offered this to him. He hasn’t taken her up on it…'

'We haven't tried this kink together but I have said a few times that I would try it if it were important to him (even though the idea of being covered in custard and cream feels anything but sexy to me).'

Well maybe saying if it 'were important to him' didn't make him think it'd be a particularly fun experience.

I don't know. I wouldn't have ended up in a committed relationship with a baby on the way with someone I had occasional sex with only.

For the relationship to work she needs to either try and embrace it with a teeny bit of enthusiasm, not just if it is 'important' to him or accept he will get his sex kinks elsewhere.

hellsbells329 · 26/10/2021 13:03

When I say I offered it....I have loosely mentioned if he wanted to give it a go I wouldn't be closed minded about it but I haven't done anything proactive to instigate it. I wouldn't know how to.

Sex isn't crap! It's good when we do it. Maybe a little samey but we are both always satisfied. I guess I just would like more openness from him. If he took the lead and instigated it with me I would be open to it as it may well bring us closer and spice things up. He doesn't even seem to want to talk about it. I do think he's a little embarrassed.

I know he loves and cares for me. This is the only area of our relationship that is lacking slightly and even then we still manage to have regular ish sex. It's just a worry that he doesn't seem to want to communicate.

OP posts:
Morningsaregreat · 26/10/2021 15:09

You have already said what the answer is. Honest and open communication. From his perspective he could feel ashamed about his kink and therefore it is very difficult for him to discuss it.

xpc316e · 26/10/2021 15:27

Fantasies are strange things in that there are some that prove attractive because they will never become reality, and others that one is desperate to try out. It is a feature of some fantasies that they have an element of privacy, and the involvement of a partner, especially one who is less than keen, can burst the bubble, so to speak.

I understand the OP's desire to inject some passion into her sex life; there is something really wonderful in having a long-term partner who has the hots for you. Involving herself in his food fantasy may be a way to do that, but I do detect that although the OP is eager to raise the levels of passion, she is less than keen on the food fetish idea.

Her language tells us quite a lot. I am no psychologist, but the phrase he 'erm enjoys himself occasionally' is a euphemism that reveals a somewhat puritanical attitude to his masturbation that is probably also reflected in her approach to her partner's fetish. She tells us that they have watched some food porn together and her partner in all likelihood has picked up on her subliminal mindset. Why would he seek to involve someone in his fetish if he knew their heart was not in it? The OP tells us that she doesn't find the prospect of being covered in custard and cream anything but sexy to her. She tells us that she'd be prepared to try it if it was important to him, and that sort of approach is hardly likely to result in his having a raging erection. If she is prepared to engage in his fantasy he has to believe that her heart is really into it, even if she isn't, so a bit of acting is probably required. His ED may hinge on what he thinks is her reaction to his fantasy.

When watching food porn with him her sentiments about being covered in custard in all probability come across. I think the way to approach this may be to adopt the view that while being covered in custard isn't that appealing, the prospect of her partner being overwhelmed with desire for her should be the goal, and that certainly ought to be appealing. The end justifies the means, if you get my drift.

We are also told that he uses Viagra for ED/low libido. As far as I know Viagra has no effect on low libido; its sole purpose is to enhance blood flow to the penis. I am a user of Viagra and sexual desire results in a dose; a dose doesn't result in sexual desire. The time that Viagra needs to take effect and its necessity to be taken on an empty stomach mean that planning is required and spontaneity goes out of the window, but it can be done. His food fantasy also needs careful planning if the house isn't to resemble a chimps' tea party, so perhaps the two factors can be planned for together.

It is also important to not confuse quality and quantity. Low libido may result in infrequent sex, but it could well be mind-blowing when it actually happens. A high sex drive could result in lots of sex, without it being of great quality. I suspect that she wants sex more frequently, but with much more passion.

The OP indicates that she does not want the relationship to die. She feels that realising his fantasy may be the key to having a more frequent, more passionate, sex life. It may indeed be the key to getting where she wants to be; it must also be borne in mind that it might not achieve what she wants it to. It is notoriously tough to align someone's varying sex drive with yours. Having said that, a job worth doing is surely worth doing well: she needs him to believe that she is as consumed by his fantasy as he is (even though that is definitely not the case). Approaching the project with a 'meh, I'll give it a go, but I am not that keen' attitude is absolutely not going to work.

Best wishes.

hellsbells329 · 26/10/2021 16:16

Very helpful post @xpc316e thank you for taking the time to reply in such depth.

You are right, my attitude is more a willingness to participate rather than a burning desire to do so. I'm not a very sexually/body confident person anyway so something out of my comfort zone like this is daunting to me.

As you said at the beginning of your post, I do feel like this is perhaps a fantasy he enjoys watching, imagining and so on...but maybe not one he'd want to actually carry out.

It's tricky because the sex we do have is good albeit quite vanilla. But I just can't shake the feeling that it's done out of obligation rather than desire. He could probably quite happily go without it whereas other men would be chomping at the bit after a few weeks of nothing.

Ultimately I just want to understand and have more communication but his embarrassment seems to prevent that...

OP posts:
xpc316e · 26/10/2021 19:07

hellsbells329, as usual, I think communication is the answer. Men are particularly bad at it and we think that by some sort of magic our partners will be able to read our minds. Can you initiate and sustain conversations about his kink? When talking, can you emphasise that not being to understand and share his kink doesn't mean that you think it is something he should feel shame about? Reading between the lines leads me to think that he feels pretty awkward about it, both with you and in private.

Achieving a new, heightened level of communication isn't going to happen overnight and you need to be honest with him about your own sexual needs. In the long term a relationship is usually not sustainable when one half of it is unhappy about their sex life. Are you prepared to spend the next half century basically feeling unwanted? By the way, any conversations need to take place outside the bedroom.

One question I'd like to ask is how you became aware of his kink. Was it revealed in a frank conversation, or was it discovered despite his wanting it to be kept a secret? Feeling ashamed about one's sexual make-up is not healthy.

I think it would be a good idea to try to arrange some couple's counselling as there seems a lot to be unraveled.

hellsbells329 · 26/10/2021 19:40

@xpc316e ha it's funny you ask that because I found out purely by accident. Stumbled across his internet history. He was very embarrassed and I really doubt that he ever would have volunteered the information. Which again shows that he prefers to keep the kink to himself.

The fact that he has gone on to talk to me about it and share videos is progress but it's still something he feels awkward about, I can tell. Once the moment is done he doesn't really like talking about it in everyday conversation.

OP posts:
xpc316e · 26/10/2021 21:50

hellsbells329, that is pretty much as I had guessed things might be on your discovery of his fetish. It's no wonder that he feels awkward and ashamed, and those emotions are going to be carried over into your vanilla, everyday sex life. It must be the elephant in the room for him whenever any kind of sex occurs. No wonder that he has ED and gives you the impression that he is just going through the motions, so to speak.

Sunlight is the best disinfectant and this subject needs to be talked about in the open air. You said that your body and mental confidence is not what it should be and it's a tragic cocktail when mixed with his shame about his kink. I really hope that you can sort yourselves out and again I would not rule out professional help. Don't let things fester for any longer; please talk to each other.

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