Bi-curious

[haveyouopenedyourbowelstoday]

I'm 51 and after a few ups and downs have a good marriage.
But, I've finally admitted to myself and more recently DH that I'm more than a little bi-curious. I would love to know what it's like to be with a woman.
He's very supportive. I don't want to be unfaithful and we have discussed some kind of swinging but obviously that's a whole new 'ball' game.
I don't want to end the marriage in any shape at all. I honestly don't know what to do although at the moment I'm thinking about nothing else which actually had boosted our sex life tremendously.
Has anyone got any thoughts or ideas?

Initial thoughts with swinging, how would you feel about your husband being with another woman?

@Izbizbiz

Initial thoughts with swinging, how would you feel about your husband being with another woman?

I think as long as there were boundaries (which we have sort of discussed) I'd be ok. I think he'd be fine (go figure) seeing me with a woman, not sure about another man.

May I ask why your bisexual experience has to be accomplished via swinging? Why couldn't you have some fun time with another woman without having your husband on hand?

I might be wrong, but I reckon that it would be simpler to find a partner for just you than it would be to recruit someone who wanted to play as part of a threesome, even if your husband was just going to be there.

@xpc316e

May I ask why your bisexual experience has to be accomplished via swinging? Why couldn't you have some fun time with another woman without having your husband on hand?

I might be wrong, but I reckon that it would be simpler to find a partner for just you than it would be to recruit someone who wanted to play as part of a threesome, even if your husband was just going to be there.

I completely agree with you. I'm really struggling to come to terms with it all...really wanting to stay married whilst also getting these very strong feelings. I see being with a woman away from DH as being unfaithful.

Lots of men see any sexual experience away from them as unfaithful. Lots of men don’t see woman:woman as a threat so it’s not unfaithful.
I see both sides, especially if you are having rooted feelings for women.

It’s well understood that finding a solo woman to join a couple is very difficult. You may have some conditions to this interaction which will need met as well. My worry would be that you both become so excited by the prospect that anyone will do and it could ruin what you have.

I read somewhere that you should discuss 1 of you joining a couple deal with all of the concerns that come out of that scenario to fully understand how you may feel about someone joining you. Worth a thought?

My partner and I really enjoy talking about fantasies and it definitely enhances our sex life. We also know that fantasies don’t have to become reality. There are lifelike toys out there you could bring in to your bedroom and role play if you wanted to do it safely first?

May l throw a few thoughts into the equation that l need full consideration?

Certainly whether or not anyone is 100% heterosexual and whether sexuality is fluid is a matter of debate.

In addition to the above, lots of women regularly have sex with other woman, some of those women have regular sex with men too. But there are far fewer women who would entertain having sex in the presence of a third party. Particularly one they did not know.

Also weigh up whether a renaissance with a female would really be best with someone able to watch, perhaps more, even if it is your husband.

Unless you are a hardened (is that the right word?) swingerI think this requires a lot of thought.

I was half asleep when l typed the above and it shows.

Addendum 1:

May I throw a few thoughts into the equation that I think may need full consideration.

Addendum 2:
Unless you are a hardened swinger l think this requires a lot of thought.

In summery, very few women would consider being in a situation with you and your husband, compared to being with you alone.

I've PM'd you @haveyouopenedyourbowelstoday

I love how bi curious women assume that bisexual or lesbian women would be up for being their bit on the side experiment!

I know a friend of a friend your age in a similar ( sort of ) position who is still with her husband but has a girlfriend. She had an affair with the woman, came out to her DH as gay but he said he didn’t want to end the marriage as they are best friends etc
This has been going on for about 5 years now but the GF who said she was okay with it is. Is getting really fed up of always being on the outside. The woman gets to play happy families with her DH and kids for Xmas, holidays etc with everyone thing they’re a traditional family, while privately to close friends she’s now a ‘lesbian.’
I don’t know how this will end but it looks like the GF is about to set down an ultimatum ( finally!)

• I wouldn’t see sleeping with a woman as not being unfaithful, and I’m not sure why men do sometimes! Can’t tell you the number of later in life lesbians i know who’s husbands encouraged them to have sex with a woman only to find themselves divorced or separated she when the wife fell in love or realised she was actually gay.

Talk to other people who are or have been in your position. You'll get lots of advice and support on the chat groups at Killing Kittens.

Feel free to drop me a DM if you want to chat about it. (I suspect posters on the Sex board here are bored of me talking about it! 😂)