Thoughts about this experience - how to make it a bit less painful

[Amber43]

My mind is whizzing, had sex with a new partner. He made me cum using his mouth. Was really mind blowing and I was a bit all over the place. He's very well endowed and entered me but it felt a bit painful (first time I've had sex in a year). We had sex but he ended up coming on me rather than inside me as I couldn't manage it for so long. How can I make it less painful next time? I was definitely wet but i think too tender after my own orgasm. Should I tell him not to do this till afterwards? He's very enthusiastic, a generous lover and wanting to do anything for me including make me squirt (not sure how I'm ever going to do that). I'm not used to having anyone generous with me in bed.

Maybe more lube and a different position?

Communicate with him and tell him the problem. It sounds as of he cares and is doing his job properly but maybe a tad over enthusiasticly, so this should not big a big issue for you both.

Get on top and control the depth and pace yourself. Maybe ask him to slow down too?

@StarlightLady

Agree

I agree with @StarlightLady communication, easier to bring up a man being very well endowed with him rather than if he had the opposite problem.

If he is very well endowed, he has probably had previous partners who have found him to be a little large at first, so he may be able to offer some tips & advice.

And until you adjust to get more used to his size, as Starlight has said get on top and take control of the depth and pace.

Lube! Even if you are very aroused and wet down there, it can change consistency and get up a little so a little Lube will help. Dp is Generously sized and a little Lube goes a long way!

Definitely don't put off your own orgasm, if anything it will act as a muscle relaxant (unless he fingered you ragged? But you said he used his mouth so guessing no)

Definitely use lube. My favourite is ID Milennium Glide which is odourless and tasteless and condom safe. I know people swear by Liquid Silk but the taste is 🤮

Start off with you on top. Take your time getting his cock in and just sit there for a minute getting used to it. When you feel up to it, start the rhythm. If you want to swap positions, then do so, but remind him to go steady to start off.

Ultimately you may never be able to have piv sex with him - but that's okay as long as you're both getting an orgasm. You could get into a routine of oral on you wit a orgasm, oral on him (without), piv for 5 mins, oral on him to orgasm. Or similar. Unless you're TTC it's all about you both enjoying yourselves right?

@Amber43

My mind is whizzing, had sex with a new partner. He made me cum using his mouth. Was really mind blowing and I was a bit all over the place. He's very well endowed and entered me but it felt a bit painful (first time I've had sex in a year). We had sex but he ended up coming on me rather than inside me as I couldn't manage it for so long. How can I make it less painful next time? I was definitely wet but i think too tender after my own orgasm. Should I tell him not to do this till afterwards? He's very enthusiastic, a generous lover and wanting to do anything for me including make me squirt (not sure how I'm ever going to do that). I'm not used to having anyone generous with me in bed.

By the way, don't feel pressured by him wanting you to 'squirt'. I know it's all over porn but in reality? Not so much and its usually either piss or water anyway.