Never had an orgasm

[justfdoesnthappenatall2]

Well I have with a toy and porn on my own but never with a partner. My current boyfriend is so attentive and can literally last for ages with his penis, hands and mouth he literally is the best lover but still nothing. I am 43 years old and it's really upsetting me that I will never experience this with a man😢

Do you fancy him, does he turn you on at all? I would just involve him in what works for you when you're alone. Put some porn on, get your vibe out and get him using it on you. Many people don't orgasm without toys so don't worry about it. The more your stress about it the more elusive it will be!

Your thread heading is not quite right, you can orgasm, but someone else needs to learn your body, don’t make this a major concern which will upset things.

Maybe the attention to the clitoris is not long enough or broken up with other things at the wrong time? Interrupted oral sessions perhaps?

For starters, are you comfortable enough to bring yourself to climax while he holds you? I would suggest that as a starting point. You can then progress from there.

I think your body is trained to come in a certain way, with certain stimulation by you.
It’s a female equivalent to the ‘death grip’ that men sometimes get.
And with women - our orgasms are both mechanical stimulation and letting go mentally. And with such a long history of only coming when solo playing - it’s not easy to reprogram your brain.

I had something similar when I was young, but luckily met a similarly attentive boyfriend back then. And even despite that - most of the time I still need to help it along with my own fingers most of the time. I rarely do come unaided with regular sex. Magic wand in his hands can get me there quickly but I find that sort of quick orgasms with a super strong vibrator a lot less satisfying.

As the above poster suggested - I also think you need to start slowly and play with your toy with your guy present and holding/caressing you. You can then build up to maybe having him assist.
If you slowly become more comfortable and manage to orgasm, you can try some new things. Depending on if your orgasms with are penetrative or clitoral - you can try different toys, or fingering. Etc.
Good luck! It nice to meet a man who cares.
But also - don’t put yourself under too much stress over it. Last thing you can do when you worry about having an orgasm is relax enough to have one

I think it's telling that you say "I will never experience this...". It's like you've already given up all hope! Please don't!

I think it can take a while to readjust with a new lover especially if you've not experienced somebody so attentive before. When I met DP I was worried that he'd get bored so I just jokingly told him about how I hardly ever came and that my body was clearly very complicated! He was lovely about it, reassured me and took a great deal of time figuring out how I ticked. Within a few months I was having the most amazing orgasms and then found I could squirt, something I never thought possible.

It's sounds like your DP is the kind of man who'd take his time to get you there. Just be honest with him and you'll figure it out together.

Do you use toys with your BF?

I can only orgasm during sex if I’m using a toy on my clit too