Tips and tricks please!

[Lilolily]

Hey ladies, I’m wondering if you’ll share any tips, tricks or just general advice please on fellatio?

I’m not young and obviously it’s happened, but it’s just never been something I’ve felt confident about doing and would love to learn/be good at.

There’s only been one time where someone has finished within, because I just can’t relax enough to allow it, although I want to. I think it’s fear that I’m crap at it, or that I’ll be sick of something and feel stupid.

PLEASE don’t say “just relax” because we all know that’s bull in these situations. Any tips or tricks would be greatly appreciated!

My tip would be to not use your hands at all; make sure that he feels only your lips, tongue, and mouth. Perhaps use your hands to caress his balls, but no more.

Concentrate on his reactions alone. Encourage him to give you feedback on what you are doing. For me the whole purpose of sex is to give pleasure is giving pleasure to another person (if it were not so, we could simply masturbate), and most men adore finishing in someone's mouth. The glow of satisfaction you will feel when he does finish in your mouth will be your reward.

Oh and don't forget that practice makes perfect.

@Lilolily In my (very very limited!) experience, there is no such thing as a bad blow job (although I'm sure other men will disagree!)

Be honest with your partner, and tell him your concerns.

A fwb I had wasn't very confident / comfortable with giving oral, but she told me early on, and we worked on it together, at her pace. (obviously, I didn't enjoy a minute of the practice! ) At the end, she absolutely loved giving oral, and I was a very happy bunny...

We did find that the more she was turned on, the deeper she could take me , and the more heightened the experience became, so maybe make sure he pays you some attention first!

In fact definitely make sure he pays you some attention first!

@Lilolily - This very much varies on the guy. Some like hands, some don’t. Some also like their balls played with, others not, some like a firmer/lighter grip. The only way you’ll get more confident is being with a partner who you can trust and asking them to guide you on what works for them, much the same for a women. Practice makes perfect

@xpc316e wow - how?! I don’t think I would manage to keep it on my mouth without hands!

Thanks all, I know it’s a learning curve and he knows how I feel about it as he is “the one” as in the only one who has ever been there to completion, many years ago.

There’s no pressure on any aspect, in fact he slowed me down this weekend past, had made up the spare room in case I wanted it, assuring me there’s no rush, there was lots of enjoyable Kissing and a bit of touching, was lovely 😊

It’s just, this has been an issue for a long time for me now and I want to overcome it.

Lilolily I'm not going to say 'just relax' but I am going to recommend you take the pressure right off yourself by not thinking about getting him to completion. Just enjoy the process.

If you're doing it willingly and enthusiastically because you enjoy giving him pleasure, you're halfway there. Don't get too fixated on the 'sucking until he finishes' part. Get comfy and spend ages just adoring it, teasing him. I often start by not even touching it for several minutes but concentrating on all around it - stomach, thighs, balls if he likes them played with - until he's practically begging for mercy. Then I can sometimes spend easily as long again just kissing it, licking it, sometimes stroking it if I've decided to use my hands, and even once I've finally taken it in my mouth properly I may break off just to play with and tease it now and again. Don't focus on the desired end result, just slow right down and enjoy it, with lots of eye contact, lots of smiles. I can't deep throat but that's never been an issue, if it goes a little too deep I just back off, readjust my position and pick up again. Towards the end when I finally take pity on him and let him cum I might use my hand at the base if I think a little more stimulation is needed. If there's a lot of trust between you, tying his hands, either together or to the bed, so he's completely at your mercy can be fun, but make sure he's not uncomfortable or in danger of having the circulation affected. Edible massage oil can be good too, especially if it can take him a while - you can give him a handjob until he's more than halfway there, then take over with your mouth.
Lovehoney do a nice vanilla one.

Good luck, and enjoy!

Lilolily, I don't have a huge amount of experience in delivering BJs to completion (I wish it were more), but my favourite position is for the recipient to be seated in a comfortable chair with his bum towards the front of the seat and legs spread wide. The donor kneels between the legs; making sure that they kneel on something that isn't going to stop the action through knee pain. I have never had any problems with the erect penis not staying in my mouth without using hands to guide it, but your experience may differ, of course.

At the point of orgasm, I am a fan of taking the penis as far as possible into the mouth/down the throat. As a recipient, I love being deep, and as a relatively inexperienced donor it allows me to easy swallow the semen.

I really think the best tip is to be enthusiastic.

Take a look at some instructional videos on YouTube (yes, really).

@waterSpider

Take a look at some instructional videos on YouTube (yes, really).

Yikes, just imagine what that'd do to your algorithm.

Personal preference (as a guy) but:

Do it voluntarily and you're instantly legendry GF/wife material, extra points if its spontaneous - e.g. surprise him when he gets out the shower.

Teasing/making him wait a bit adds to the anticipation, massaging and kissing it before the main event builds excitement.

Take your time, I'm assuming you're doing this because you think he deserves a treat, if so, make it one. Make it an event in it's own right, I'm sure he'll be very happy to repay the favour after.

Eye contact is very hot.

It doesn't need to involve a huge amount of actual oral sex, hands are good too.

If you're grossed out by cum make sure it goes somewhere you're not going to have to instantly jump up after he's finished.

The only thing you need to be a bit careful about are teeth, they can make it quite unpleasant if you're not.

Just remember, you cant really do it wrong and you're getting massive GF/wife points just for doing it.

I must be getting weak in my old age, I usually avoid posts in my old age because l wonder if there are hairy arms at play.

It’s about wanting passion and sharing, it’s certainly not about scoring points. It can actually be quite comforting too. Maybe l was deprived of a dummy as a kid? I once mentioned this elsewhere on MN and got told off, saying l should have sucked my thumb rather than pick on a poor male friend!!!

Think ice lolly. Do not go beyond your physical comfort zone. A competition it is not.

Hands free is easy after the initial placement providing you are not with a thruster. It’s comfortable to practice on a banana.

Finally if you are going to go until completion/celebration your own positioning is important. You need to be at an angle where drinking a glass of water would be comfortable.

Essentially, send the friend you are with down first.

I normally give oral when BF is laying down so I straddle. I am not sure I wouldn't be able to use hands in this angle. Maybe the seated position would be a try. I have no advice myself sorry. Good luck!

God I love it. It's possibly my favourite thing to do tbh. Take your time, vary how you use your tongue, tease constantly. Don't ignore the balls and possibly further back depending on your man, play with yourself too - the more turned on you are the better an experience he will have.

Smile.

Ok so it happened, successfully sort of! As in, I kind of licked it off and sucked it at the end rather than made him cum from it. This happened from us having sex and then him stimulating to finale whilst I just kind of lingered over.

Thing is, there is no way in the world I (or I expect anyone) could go that fast with their mouth to facilitate that?!

It's not all about speed though. Men like the sensation and the concept of receiving oral. You don't have to simulate his hand in masturbation or anything.

It sounds like that was very helpful of him as you didn't have to keep at it for ages.

In reality this might be what a lot of BJs are like- or you masturbate him for a while and then finish the job with oral.

@Lilolily

Ok so it happened, successfully sort of! As in, I kind of licked it off and sucked it at the end rather than made him cum from it. This happened from us having sex and then him stimulating to finale whilst I just kind of lingered over.

Thing is, there is no way in the world I (or I expect anyone) could go that fast with their mouth to facilitate that?!

Hmm.....I have been giving my current guy BJ to completion and speed doesn't seem to be the important part.
It does take a bit of time.
I'm not sure about the suggestion of not using hands. I use hand/s some of the time, some of the time not (and I hold his hands during this bit).
I have him lying on his back, me crouched between his open legs.

It depends on the guy though, neither of my most recent ltr could cum through BJ. One could barely cum through full sex so I didn't beat myself up about it.

Smiling is irrelevant, though looking up briefly through your fringe (myopically in my case) with a cheeky grin seems to be popular!

@VanGoghsDog I said "smile" because thinking that someone is not enjoying giving you pleasure is a huge turn off. Or it is in my experience.

[quote Estherpologist]@VanGoghsDog I said "smile" because thinking that someone is not enjoying giving you pleasure is a huge turn off. Or it is in my experience.[/quote]
You can't smile while you're doing it, and I'm not sure how they can see you anyway.

Enthusiasm and eye contact go a very long way

@Lilolily

Ok so it happened, successfully sort of! As in, I kind of licked it off and sucked it at the end rather than made him cum from it. This happened from us having sex and then him stimulating to finale whilst I just kind of lingered over.

Thing is, there is no way in the world I (or I expect anyone) could go that fast with their mouth to facilitate that?!

You don't need to go fast. If you think it is taking too long or want to make the end more intense, make sure you are holding his foreskin right back as tight as you can make it and cup his balls and squeeze them ..some men like them squeezed tight and then carry on sucking, licking and kissing. It guarantees a very deep orgasm every time but I find that there is usually a lot of cum so be aware if you want to swallow for him.

Speed and sex rarely sit well together.