Nc but am a regular poster
I was on Fab Swingers a few years ago wanting to experiment.
I met a number of men - initially I think I was excited by the attention/ability to cherry pick any man I pretty much wanted. That got boring after a couple of months and I luckily met a couple of good guys who became my fwb and I enjoyed being exclusive with them. After 6 months or so, these arrangements ended and I met someone again off Fab who I got into an exclusive/monogamous situationship with which progressed on to a proper relationship, together 18 months. We had an incredible time together, really got close and intimate and through this connection were able to experiment and push each other's sexual boundaries.
I feel really sad that the relationship didn't work out - we were at different life stages and I wanted to have a child (am currently pregnant via sperm donor). This was ultimately more important than anything else. I also feel really sad that I don't think I'll ever experience that level of intimacy and sexual compatibility ever again with anyone, I mean it took to me being 37/38 to have experienced it...I don't want more random, pointless sexual experiences that will inevitably feel far inferior to what I've experienced...trawling through Fab wanting to find similar and knowing it takes time, effort and luck and I just cannot be bothered with it (once I've had the child/settled into motherhood).
I do feel that I miss intimacy/skin to skin contact but equally I don't want a full on relationship either eg escalating it to cohabitation/marriage/more children. I want emotionally exclusivity without the trappings of a regular relationship.
Has anyone experienced similar, found a solution? I don't want to settle, whether on Fab or elsewhere, I just want that feeling again where I am with someone who I really feel comfortable with...