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I feel unwanted sexually

1 reply

SoThisIs43 · 15/09/2021 00:06

I am 44 my SO is 47 we have been together 3 years. At first our sex life was very good...we both were very into experimenting (he has had alot more partners than me) and although maybe we weren't having sex as often as I would like when we did it was good! So that was maybe the first 6 to 9 months and ever since then it's became less and less. He does suffer with PE and I know that causes him stress and embarrassment which I tell him is no issue I just want to be intimate whatever. Now whenever we are intimate it usually never involves penetrative and hardly ever oral and it makes me so sad and frustrated. I've brought this up many times and he just says "I hear you" it's like he has no sex drive whatsoever and mine is so it seems way more than his....also whenever we do get intimate it's usually me that's instigated it and I always end up feeling unsatisfied. I just want to have sex with him and for him to want me in that way and I feel he doesn't. We are so loving and touchy and close and I feel that it should be just a natural part of us but it's like he has a wall up...one that wasn't there when we first met and I miss it 😔

OP posts:
beingsunny · 20/09/2021 10:03

I understand your frustration, I see you have talked to him, does he offer any insight back?

He may just have a low sex drive, I just passed six years with my DP, we haven't been intimate for six months now.

It started to tail off when we moved in together.

We have major communication issues which compounds the issue and makes me feel unwanted.

How would you feel if he said he just didn't feel the urge very often?

Obviously there's the option of a sex therapist, but perhaps the PE has knocked his confidence or he may just not making the effort as it's an effort because of the PE.

Sorry, but rambly, but it's late here and I didn't want you to go unanswered.

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