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4 replies

Olivelover · 13/09/2021 12:15

Hi all
After several discussions about our intimate relationship we have both expressed an interest in inviting others to occasionally join in with us.
Does anyone have any experience in doing this type of thing? Any golden do's or dont's?
Thanks in advance.

OP posts:
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bedtimeisthebest · 14/09/2021 06:49

It sounds like you are wanting someone to join you and your partner/spouse in a threesome rather than having an open relationship/marriage which is what my wife and I have, but we do have two different sets of what we call couples with benefits and that sometimes means a threesome with just either one of them or one of us, although normally it is basically a partner swap.

Our main rules are safe sex and no anal. If you are a heterosexual couple you have to decide if you're having MMF or FFM how intimate you want to be.

Is it a MMF or a FFM you're both wanting, try both, we have.

Male/female penetration is a given as is M/F oral sex but you need to discuss in advance if M/M cock sucking or F/F pussy licking is what you want.

Also could just one of you two and the other person just have sex with each other with the other either not there or watching. I have watched my wife fuck both men and women and it is incredibly erotic.

You need to discuss jealousy. Neither one of us has ever felt even the smallest pang of this, we both have our own FWBs and spend nights/afternoons alone with them and this isn't an issue, but it's important to be honest.

Will this just be sex or will the person also sleep, in the literal sense, with you both that night. We did have a rule of not in the marital bed but that no longer applies when we swap with the other couple.

Main rule, be honest, don't be jealous and don't be afraid to say no.

Go for it, if it's what you BOTH want, it will enrich your sex life greatly.

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Violet869 · 14/09/2021 09:18

@bedtimeisthebest - I always find it fascinating how people share their partners and don’t get jealous. I honestly don’t know how people do it.

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bedtimeisthebest · 14/09/2021 17:09

[quote Violet869]@bedtimeisthebest - I always find it fascinating how people share their partners and don’t get jealous. I honestly don’t know how people do it.[/quote]
I think that we're both strong and secure in our love for each other and we absolutely know that neither one of us is going to go off with someone else.

This is why I've mentioned jealousy, if you think it may be a problem/issue then 100% don't go there. You have to be very honest with each and please don't do it if you have doubts just because your partner/spouse does.

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Namechanged1010 · 15/09/2021 15:53

@Olivelover

Whose idea was it originally or it it truly a joint desire?

I had an experience a fair few years ago with my then BF. He has a fantasy about a 3 some which he liked to share when we were in bed and playing. That developed into him asking occasionally if we could try and have his fantasy. He was open to either MMF or FFM. He said he was open to either but I said I didn't think I would manage not to be jealous seeing him play with another woman. I said I would try a MMF but the key for me was if possible, the other man wouldn't know before as I wanted to be able to back out if I changed my mind.

The guy we picked was a former neighbour who had moved away long distance but was coming back to visit and was coming for drinks and a meal. Meant if it wasn't a great night we didn't have him next door, but equally wasn't a stranger.

It actually went well fuelled by wine etc first part was him with me and BF watching and then BF joined in with me the centre of focus of the guys. I was very nervous at the start but did relax and enjoy it.

Tips? Some posters have recommended options around clubs etc but that wasn't for me. Make sure it is agreed you can back out with no recriminations. Do you want FFM or MMF? Decide whether you want a hotel or your home. If it was a stranger I'd probably go hotel. I'd discuss with DH what his hopes/expectations are and does that work for you?
What role does he want to play. Watch or partake.
How will you both manage any jealousy? My BF did love that night but he did admit to a few pangs when the point came that the other man started to penetrate me and seeing me actually enjoying it.

Agony Aunts all caution against doing it and they don't do so without reason so understand the risks

Good luck..I did the once and don't regret but wouldn't do easily with my now DH

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