Awkward conversation with sexual health line

[PinotPony]

A few days ago I ordered a home STI kit online. Today I received a text asking me to call to confirm whether I still wanted the test as I'd been sent one "recently".

During the call I confirmed that I'd last tested in May. I have no symptoms or concerns but am having occasional unprotected sex so I usually get tested every 3 months or so.

The adviser informed me that the guidance was every three months but a straight woman probably only needed to get tested once a year unless she had different partners.

I rather awkwardly said "Erm... well I would fall into that category.." There was a pause, an audible sigh, then she said she'll send out the test this time but next time I'll have to make an appointment at the clinic to come in.

I suspect it's a funding issue more than anything but I'm quite surprised at the implied judgement simply because I'm safeguarding my sexual health and testing regularly. I also insist that any partner has a clear test before I'd consider unprotected sex with them.

I would look at reporting this to the manager of the clinic @PinotPony. Surely, a service like this should be non judgemental & accommodating, so that they don’t put people off trying to be proactive with their (sexual) health.
Also, are they allowed to make that assumption about “straight women?”
Sounds like you got someone who was perhaps expressing views that wouldn’t possibly be those of the clinic. If that’s the case, they need to know to correct this.

This sounds like a person not properly trained to me.

I doubt very much it was the number of partners, more the unprotected sex.

She will be seeing people on a regular basis who are contracting some nasty incurable diseases.

Do you test after every new partner?

Though less far likely for women to catch Hepatitis C from sex it can take 3 months so show up on an antibody test.
I doubt many people are paying for a pcr test every 3 months.
Same with herpes, most wont pay for a specific blood test and lots of clinics wont take a blood test unless you have sores.
So yeah, im pretty sure its the risk, not the number

How many partners a year are you having unprotected sex with? Surely it makes no difference to you if they use a condom? If they aren't long term partners but you are contracepting (to avoid pregnancy) surely just use a condom for double protection

Why are you having unprotected sex? Surely if you want lots of different casual partners the most sensible thing to do would be to use a condom..not order test kits every 12 weeks Incase you've caught something.

It's a bit like shutting the door after the horse has bolted, and yes there is a cost and resource burden for the NHS. Hope you've had a HPV vaccination, and get regular smears.

@Kittykat93

Why are you having unprotected sex? Surely if you want lots of different casual partners the most sensible thing to do would be to use a condom..not order test kits every 12 weeks Incase you've caught something.

Er... because that's my choice to. If you read my OP, you'll see I said "occasional ", not lots of".

And yes, of course I've had a HPV vaccine and have regular smears.

There's been two guys this year with whom I've had planned unprotected sex. It's not "shutting the door after the horse has bolted" "in case I've caught something". It's having an adult conversation about our sexual histories and insisting on sharing clear test results before DTD.

Looks like the judgement from some on here is as bad as the healthline! 🙄

Not sure its judgemental. Thing is though pinot a clear test is not necessarily worth the paper its written on.

They might have had unprotected sex with someone else since the test and before you and not told you.

If they have unprotected sex and then test 3 weeks later that test wont pick up hiv or hep c (less relevant for you unless you)

So by association your test or any test is invalid as soon as you’ve had unprotected sex even if you both have clear tests.

The only thing I’d judge you for is being a little bit naive. I would never trust someone with a clean test unless we’d been monogamous and it had been done after 3 months

I am a bit out of touch in that I ceased to work for the Terrence Higgins Trust when Covid struck, but in my area visits to clinics were restricted to only those people who had symptoms; posted test kits were for those whose circumstances meant that being tested was desirable and who exhibited no sign of an STD.

I am surprised both by the advice you were given, and by the sigh that accompanied it.

How does it work if your casual partners who you are having unprotected sex with are also having unprotected sex with other partners who are also doing the same ? As a pp said, the results are probably not worth the paper they're written on. Of course it's your choice , but for multiple casual partners who also have multiple casual partners condoms are probably a safer bet .

Your post doesn’t make sense. How can you claim to be safeguarding your sexual health yet have unprotected sex with several people a year?

Where did I say "several"?

Two guys who I know well and have been seeing for a while.

My post was about the advice given by a sexual health line, not seeking views on how many people I'm fucking. I love the way everyone assumes it's "casual sex" or ONS!

How can you say you are safe guarding your health when you are having unprotected sex ?

Unless you’re having tests every time you have unprotected sex, then you can’t be sure you’re protecting your sexual health and I mean this kindly (as someone whose ex-bf gave them an STD) it’s much safer to use condoms with casual partners, not only does it protect you against STD’s but HPV too.

I agree with @Wherearemymarbles. I'm sure it was the unprotected sex that drew the reaction, not anything else. On the handful of times I ve been to a sexual health clinic the staff have been brilliant so this sounds a little off. I guess we all have off days?

OP ignore them, you are doing nothing wrong.
We have sex because we enjoy it, if you don't enjoy using condoms that's fine, why should anyone have sex they don't like is beyond me.

I did exactly what you did, take tests to do my bit for future partners and know I'm not spreading things. There's always an element of risk even with condoms.

But you don't know you're not spreading things , unless every single person tests after every single time they have sex, because multiple people are having unprotected sex with multiple ( and changing ) partners who are also doing the same; Do what you like but this isn't safeguarding and the risks are high .

@Mooncats - I agree, sexual health is important and more so than having sex with a couple of guys without using condoms. STD’s are significantly on the rise and we can all do our bit by protecting ourselves to ensure low transmission rates.