Sex has diminished!

[Sextrouble]

I am a woman in my 30’s who has a great partner in many ways. Apart from sex. It is becoming less and less, we’re now at a once a month stage, often initiated by me. I am feeling resentful and undesired.
I don’t know if this is a problem with me and I should just accept that’s how things are and I’m being selfish, or whether I am reasonable to feel this way. I often find myself daydreaming of sex most days, I self-play about 4 times a week but it’s not the same as being intimate with a partner. I miss it so much!
I’ve raised the issue more than once, things change for a few weeks and then they fall back to how they were.
I just don’t know what to do anymore!

It's a tough one because we all have different sex drive and they can change with time and situation.

It can be linked to issues in a relationship or day to day stresses.

We men are pretty simple creatures and your best option is typically to be straight with us.

Unmatched sex drives are a major source of misery.

Can I ask whether you have physical intimacy outside sex - hugging, hand holding, cuddling? Could you up those levels without necessarily increasing frequency of sex, and would it help you at all? I feel certain it would help the relationship, at least.

Ultimately you might have to accept that this is your partner's normal level, and decide what to do on that basis. But presumably at one point it was higher than this? Do they think that they could increase it a bit, without making themselves unhappy? What level would help you live with it - e.g. once a fortnight?