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Original poster

Getting older / hornier

16 replies

Estherpologist · 18/08/2021 07:10

Is it just me that's getting hornier as they get older (early 50s)?
I've always been quite sexual, and I know it's impossible to compare one person's libido with another,, and I'm sure much of it is just because I've been sleeping alone for years, but jeez it would be easier to loose interest.

OP posts:
AverageGuy · 18/08/2021 09:51

@Estherpologist - you are not alone! Although enforced celibacy as you are describing definitely doesn't help... SadFlowers

I'm (very) late 50's, and my libido, whilst not what it was in my 20's, seems to not have slackened off as much as I might have expected.. Shock

The difficulty is, as you are more than aware, is finding someone suitable to help, er, scratch that itch.. Confused

I suppose it depends what you are looking for though. For me, its a FWB type arrangement, as I have no (current) interest in getting married again, or even living with someone, which makes things difficult, mainly because of my age Sad

xpc316e · 18/08/2021 11:35

I am male, in my mid sixties, and with the same partner for 18 years. I feel horny less often than when younger, but when I do feel the need it is more pressing.

I have less sex than when younger, but I can honestly say that the quality is much better. For me, aging hasn't been that bad as far as sex is concerned. I am very grateful to have a partner whose sex drive has not waned post-menopause, as that would play a huge part in my sex life.

Whatliesbeneath707 · 18/08/2021 14:16

Are you female @Estherpologist? If you are, sometimes the hormones have a surge prior to the menopause, which can massively increase the sex drive. This is great if you have a partner but not so great, if you don’t as the urges can be quite persistent! Not easy to switch it off 😒 Would @AverageGuy’s solution (FWB) be something you would consider?

Rosesareredd · 18/08/2021 18:02

I’m in my 30’s and my sex drive has hit the roof during the past few years, maybe hormones have a part to play 🤷🏼‍♀️ Although I have always been quite a sexual person anyway!

Inthesameboatatmo · 19/08/2021 10:47

I seem to be the same .
Mid 40s now and just seem to be in a near constant state of arousal.

Original poster
Estherpologist · 20/08/2021 07:18

I've thought about a FWB but as we're still.married, that's not likely to happen. Though I do keep thinking about it.
In my book 30s isn't getting older. Those were my sexual haydays. LOL
I'm sure hormones are a big part of it. I just sometimes I wish I'd run out of them. The idea of another 10 or 20 years is horrible.

OP posts:
NalPolishRemover · 20/08/2021 09:45

Do you & your spouse have mismatched libidos?
I'm v early 50s & dh is late 40s & we've turned things around in the past few months & we're having the best time- it's v liberating! Given the opportunity we're like teenagers again - but family life / work pressures do get in the way. We've really upped our game on the communicating front as we were drifting into a deeply unsatisfactory place.
Since turning 50 I have a very real sense of life's too short not to be having fantastic sex, especially since we love each other so much but we let everything else crowd in
We're learning to not let that happen & to carve out that time that's just for us

AverageGuy · 20/08/2021 11:26

@Estherpologist - Is he not interested in you then?
Have you considered an open marriage?

If the last two years have taught us anything, it's that life is too short to be unhappy....

PermanentTemporary · 20/08/2021 23:05

Yes. I've always had a definite sex drive but it exploded after I was single again at 49. It's settled a bit but is still quite high. I live in dread of it dying off when I get to menopause. My sister is 58 though and assures me I needn't worry. Hope she's right.

HateJudgmentalPeople · 21/08/2021 05:02

I was just 40 earlier this summer, I am perimenopausal and omg, I just can’t stop going to bed in the middle of the day and playing with my magic wand, I am so horny and so single, I have no drive for penetrative sex but I can’t stop dreaming about oral sex: and for hours Grin

NewJoolz · 21/08/2021 22:51

Nope, definitely not just you! I’m 48, peri-menopausal and my sex drive is through the roof! I’ve just recently become single, which may partly be the issue, as I didn’t have sex with my ex husband for years and just assumed I’d lost my sex drive, turns out it was because I didn’t fancy him any more! I’m currently seeking an FWB type arrangement with someone to help scratch the itch, but in the meantime am solo playing daily!

lanbro · 23/08/2021 21:44

@HateJudgmentalPeople ditto, I'm 41 and when I haven't got the dc I can go 3 or 4 times a day!

SpottyBlueTeacup · 12/09/2021 18:56

It’s definitely the sex surge of menopause. Happened to me at 45 about 3 months after my periods stopped. I was in a sexless marriage - I stopped it as I wasn’t attracted to my husband. I ended up seeking out ‘fun’ elsewhere but was out of control at the time. Almost 5 years on, I did settle but it destroyed my marriage as I realised it was dead (for many reasons). I am definitely more sexual - even now - than I used to be!!! I was with the wrong man!!

santabetterwashhishands · 13/09/2021 13:02

Late 40s and my late 40s partner can't keep up .
Fwb keeps me sane

SpottyBlueTeacup · 13/09/2021 18:40

@santabetterwashhishands how old is your FWB?

santabetterwashhishands · 13/09/2021 23:00

Early fifties female

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