How to get my sex drive back?

[Bookaholic73]

DH and I used to have sex daily, sometimes twice a day.
For the past year, I have just had ZERO interest in sex at all, and I don’t know why.

We don’t have young kids living with us, DH does loads to help around the house. So it’s not like I feel unappreciated.

I am 42 he is 43.

Anyone?

Hi @Bookaholic73. I’m sorry to hear this. Has anything changed for you in the last year? Have you started any new medication or changed contraceptives? Do you think you could be starting the menopause? Has COVID/lockdown had an emotional/stressful impact on you?
Are you & DH still intimate with each other, aside from having sex?

Nothing has changed at all. If anything, life has gotten less stressful.

We still kiss and hug etc. But I hate doing that too. I don’t know what’s going on.

DH is so sweet, putting no pressure on me at all. But I am the one who wishes things were like they were before in regards to sex life.

I’m not sure about menopause, I think I’m going to have to look up the symptoms etc.

If you've gone from twice a day to nothing, something must have changed. Was it really that direct? Was there a once-a-week patch, or a noticeable decline?

I would go and talk to your GP. Hormone issues are a distinct possibility. At least your DH will know you're willing to consider whether there's anything you can do.

What happened with the intimacy? Did you ever like kissing/hugging? When did that change?

It was a slow decline. It went from twice a day, to every other day, then once every week, and just kind of declined from there.

I’m used to love sex, kissing and all intimacy.

Oh, I have gained some weight in the past year, so maybe lack of confidence is something to do with it?

But I don’t understand why kissing and hugging repulses me now.

OK... {sorry to keep picking...) why do you think you gained weight? Lockdown? Did you give something up? Are you just fed up spending time with him? I'm not great when I'm with someone 24/7.

I went to the GP when my sex drive was at absolute zero and it turned out to be an underactive thyroid. Could be worth a visit to your GP. It could explain the weigh gain and it makes me feel really tired.
Hope you find out what is causing it x

Agree with @AnagramSam. Hypothyroidism can definitely destroy your libido, and I think can be related to weight gain.
That said, if you want to rekindle your sex life, you're already half way there. ❤

Yes, agree that a thyroid imbalance can certainly affect libido. Also, do you think you could be peri menopausal? Just wonder if it’s that putting you off the kissing and hugging & those things irritate you. Look up both thyroid and menopause & see if you have any of the symptoms. Might be worth a GP visit to discuss as both would be easy to miss/ignore but can be hard to deal with if untreated. Good luck @Bookaholic73 I hope it improves for you.