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Do men prefer sex more than women?

37 replies

slowmove · 25/07/2021 21:39

General question I am interested in. Why is sex more important to men than it is to women?

OP posts:
TourneeDuChatNoir · 23/08/2021 12:55

@Myotherusernamewastakenagain

It's easier for women to get casual sex than men so men appear more desperate for it and appear to want it more.
I wish people would stop putting this silly, divisive opinion about. It may be true that I could "get" sex at the drop of a hat if I had no standards or boundaries, if I didn't really care about whether or not it was decent sex, and if I had no regard for my personal safety, but if you factor those things in it isn't easy at all. I think it just comes from a position of male privilege to think that sex = turning up and fucking a willing person and the biggest worry you might have is remembering to bring condoms.
Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 23/08/2021 22:21

It's still true on a general level, quality of the shag aside.

TourneeDuChatNoir · 24/08/2021 08:56

Doesn't it also depend on the woman? And the man, for that matter? A physically fit and attractive person in their 20s could have their pick, I'm sure. A person over 40, out of shape and with physical limitations, maybe not so much. It's very annoying to me to be told how easy I must find it to get sex, in the face of my actual lived experience.

AverageGuy · 24/08/2021 11:09

I'm physically fit, trim, and not completely ugly, but find it next to impossible to find someone willing to have a FWB type arrangement with - I'm pretty sure it's my age that puts people off.

I have my standards, and boundaries (I'm definitely not an "any hole is a goal" (what a terrible sentence Sad) type - I want a connection, and for the woman to be "present", and I care about my appearance, personal and sexual safety.

Just as I have no idea how it actually is for a woman, I'm sure ladies don't know how it actually is for a decent, well mannered guy, as I'm sure you all get bombarded with all sorts of unsuitable things.

Myotherusernamewastakenagain · 24/08/2021 11:25

@TourneeDuChatNoir

Doesn't it also depend on the woman? And the man, for that matter? A physically fit and attractive person in their 20s could have their pick, I'm sure. A person over 40, out of shape and with physical limitations, maybe not so much. It's very annoying to me to be told how easy I must find it to get sex, in the face of my actual lived experience.
It's a generalisation, only that. And one from experience.
LipstickOnYourCollar5 · 25/08/2021 08:38

@AverageGuy - It’s probably an age thing, many older women generally settle for a relationship/marriage in their older years. Would a relationship not work for you?

AverageGuy · 25/08/2021 10:10

@LipstickOnYourCollar5 - it's definitely an age thing. I think most women look at my age and think "pipe & slippers", looking towards retirement etc - I'm definitely not like that.

I don't want a "proper" relationship at the moment. The idea of getting married again (or even living with someone) does nothing for me.

I never "sowed wild oats" as a younger man (serial monogamist), and am finding my single life to be fun, when I can find someone to look past my age, and at me.

Catullus5 · 26/08/2021 01:56

I listened to something relevant on a Pleasure Mechanics podcast recently.

Research distinguishes between innate desire and responsive desire. Apparently about 85% of men have experienced the former, ie, wanting sex just because but only 15% of women have.

I think that can give the impression that men want sex more, but perhaps it shows the weakness of the question as actually I doubt that many men would still want sex regardless of circumstances.

Wandawide · 26/08/2021 18:16

Its a myth.
But its true they bloody talk about it more!

CBUK2K2 · 26/08/2021 22:17

@Wandawide personally I don't think it is, female sex drive seems to come and go based on hormones on a cycle, men's tends to be fairly constant. Sex drive also seems to come and go with age in women where as it seems to trail off as men get old(er). Body image and self confidence is another big issue women suffer from that doesn't really cross most men's minds.

Wandawide · 27/08/2021 12:26

@CBUK22 Yes I take the points you raise, I was perhaps being too flippant. I have worked with a lot of men mid20s to 40. It is almost a constant background noise or theme.

StarlightLady · 27/08/2021 13:17

Every so often , sometimes very often, hormones bubble. It something very few men seem to understand.

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