Cant come like I used to- menopause?

[MenopauseWorries]

Hi all

I wonder if anyone has any advice. I’m 38 and I’ve always had no problem coming. Used to masturbate from age of about 12, had quite a few partners. All good.

Had two kids aged 31 and 35. Sex life continued fine, no significant injuries and natural births. Have regular sex with my long term partner and regularly masturbate both with a vibrator and without.

But over the past 3 or 4 months I am finding it harder and harder to come. Used to take the minutes, now it suddenly takes an hour and I feel myself almost getting there but can quite get over the final bit to come. It’s driving me mad.

No change in drugs or anything- I’m on a couple of things for an unreleased condition, but not antidepressants or anything that should cause this. Starting to worry it’s the menopause, but im a bit young for that aren’t I?

Anyone been through this and has any insight?

Thanks in advance.

No advice but I'm currently dealing with the same thing and I'm 42l.
I am literally walking around in a constant state of arousal but my clit feels almost numb when I touch it .
I'm following with interest

I can recommend those suction-based sex toys for anyone looking for something for clitoral stimulation.

Menopause can start early, but if orgasms are the only change, it's probably something else.
You say you're on a couple of meds for unrelated things. Are you sure reduced libido isn't a possible side effect?
Maybe you just need fresh batteries? 😉

Have a look at vitamin B12 /supplementation/ deficiency affecting nerve endings...

If you were peri-menopausal you would have other symptoms. Of course it is possible to happen at 38 but quite unusual.

We do change over the years, that's quite natural. Enjoying sex isn't all about orgasm, often the journey is the most important part and the longer it goes on, the better (as long as you have the time of course).

Apart from that I'm amazed that you started masturbating at 12. I didn't even know how until I was 24 though I had tried, with no success. When I started going out with my husband I had so much more feeling than ever before and it came naturally (no pun intended). So all I can say is, "Wow!".

Maybe you and your husband need to use a different technique for sex - tantric can be amazing.

Do you use lube? I've been masturbating since I was 10 but only with fingers/vibrator in the past 3 years (I'm 52), and lube makes the most enormous difference both to masturbation and sex. Maybe it always would have done but it certainly does now.

@SynchroSwimmer

Have a look at vitamin B12 /supplementation/ deficiency affecting nerve endings...

Was about to suggest this too. Lack of orgasm was the thing that prompted me to get mine checked and it was at the lower end of normal. With supplementation my orgasms came back. Have also had issues due to peri recently but I’m 10 years older than you, so hope for your sake it’s not that yet!