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Sex

Taking the Lead in Bed

3 replies

cosmicbabe · 15/07/2021 16:25

So my boyfriend pretty much initiates sex and leads the whole way through. I'm rubbish at telling him what I like (probably because I'm not used to directing anyone). Even if he's doing something that I find isn't working I'm too shy to direct him elsewhere and just wait for him to move onto something else Blush

Does it get boring for a guy if the woman never takes the lead?

He does sometimes ask me what I want him to do and what I like but I feel like if I have to dictate through sex it puts me off and like I say I'm a bit shy...

Thanks

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Catullus5 · 15/07/2021 19:15

Well, first, be careful not to make a problem where there isn't one. If you're both happy with the existing situation there's no problem.

But in answer to your question, think of just about any activity, that involves a couple of people, and ask yourself whether they're generally better if one person decides everything or the other one has some input, and also what might happen if the decision-maker decides they've had enough of making all the decisions.

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JustAnotherOldMan · 15/07/2021 20:33

I think you are asking 2 questions really, initiating and ‘Leading’,

If your partner initiated sex, you should be able to take the lead and decide what you want to do, personally I love this.

Initiating is slightly different, ( I think), if you are relying on your partner to initiate all the time, then you are putting your sex life in someone else’s hands, if he doesn’t initiate then your not having sex tonight, for a young couple or a new couple that’s probably not going to be an issue
BUT
If you look all the threads about sexless relationships on this forum most have one thing in common, neither partner are initiating sex anymore, so just something to consider

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cosmicbabe · 16/07/2021 11:54

Both very good replies 👍🏻

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