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Original poster

To remove hair 'down there' or not?

42 replies

magda8 · 12/07/2021 20:15

Please excuse me if I don't explain very well, I try.. but English is not my native language.
Things are going well with my new bf and I feel we may get intimate soon.
How can I know if he likes me to remove hair 'down there' or not? I am scared to be in embarrassing situation. If I remove and he doesn't like, or I don't remove and he doesn't like. I don't want to shock him or to kill passion.
It's not a question I feel able to ask him in advance. I get too shy.
Before him I was in a marriage where I did remove all 'down there' hair, my ex husband was from culture where is was normal and 'expected' for men and women. I didn't have any relationship before him.
My bf now is a white British man.

OP posts:
ImprovingHusband · 11/10/2021 14:31

Was there ever a conclusion to this? Curious to know! My wife's preferences affect the clothes I wear and how I keep the hair on my head - not because I'm under the thumb but because I want to please her. I would gladly groom elsewhere if she was fussed, although I don't think she is. I keep things short and tidy at the moment.

I have suggested that me going down on her would happen more regularly if there was less hair in the vicinity, hasn't affected what she does though, all natural.

Do what you're comfortable with I'd say, but talking about this stuff is part of the fun of relationships.

Jsku · 12/10/2021 17:42

Depends on what age group you are, OP.
I do think that majority of the younger british women have moved to (nearly) bold. They have grown up with porn being widely available and their perceptions have formed based on that. And, incidentally, younger men sort of expect it.
Older women seem to care less and do whatever they chose to.

Silenceisgolden20 · 13/10/2021 22:47

Has he asked you what how you like him down there??

Silenceisgolden20 · 13/10/2021 23:55

@ImprovingHusband

Was there ever a conclusion to this? Curious to know! My wife's preferences affect the clothes I wear and how I keep the hair on my head - not because I'm under the thumb but because I want to please her. I would gladly groom elsewhere if she was fussed, although I don't think she is. I keep things short and tidy at the moment.

I have suggested that me going down on her would happen more regularly if there was less hair in the vicinity, hasn't affected what she does though, all natural.

Do what you're comfortable with I'd say, but talking about this stuff is part of the fun of relationships.

Maybe she's not fussed about your technique then if it hasn't effected her changing it or maybe she does what the heck she likes with her own body
StarlightLady · 14/10/2021 07:17

Hair removal is not all new. It was a regularly practiced amongst the Ancient Romans and Ancient Greeks. The bathhouses had specific areas for it. A sort of early salon.

Estherpologist · 14/10/2021 07:55

@Jsku

Depends on what age group you are, OP. I do think that majority of the younger british women have moved to (nearly) bold. They have grown up with porn being widely available and their perceptions have formed based on that. And, incidentally, younger men sort of expect it. Older women seem to care less and do whatever they chose to.
@Jsku Porn was easily available when most of us were growing up, its just that porn was hairier in the 70s.😀 As for whether young men expect it, the beautician who waxes me say a good proportion of her customers are men and they're all ages and backgrounds.
Freddy12 · 14/10/2021 10:01

We are both completely smooth (check out IPL machines) so always will be now
I have been for decades
Oral is so much nicer to give and receive
Smooth seems to be more the fashion now? We are naturists and have noticed this
Whatever makes you happy is of course the way to go

BigButtons · 16/10/2021 07:35

In my opinion you should never shave to please someone else. If someone finds your natural body hair unpleasant then ditch them.
Personally I think shaved bits/ male or female look gross. Why would anyone want to look prepubescent? I like a trim but that’s as far as it goes.
When I was first with my dp he asked me if I had considered shaving and I told him to bugger off with that conversation basically.

StarlightLady · 16/10/2021 08:28

@BigButtons - of course people should do what they want to do for themselves. But my body does not look pre-pubescent, simply because it does not have pubic hair. The shape and form are different. Do people who remove their underarm hair look pre-pubescent too?

What about men who shave their faces? Is it because they want to look like boys?

BigButtons · 16/10/2021 09:36

[quote StarlightLady]@BigButtons - of course people should do what they want to do for themselves. But my body does not look pre-pubescent, simply because it does not have pubic hair. The shape and form are different. Do people who remove their underarm hair look pre-pubescent too?

What about men who shave their faces? Is it because they want to look like boys?[/quote]
That’s a fair point. I personally dislike shaved bits, especially with men. Would find it a real turn off.

Tal45 · 16/10/2021 11:14

Shaved bits always remind me of a plucked chicken but being completely hair free (and fake in a 100 other ways) seems to be a huge thing with young people.

Jsku · 16/10/2021 12:52

No one is completely ‘natural’ unless you also throw away make-up, deodorants and hair scissors/brushes. So I don’t think the argument that it looks unnatural is fair.

In the end of the day it is an aesthetic and hygienic issues for many. And, as people said - if you like to give/receive oral - there is nothing worse than either a prickly stubble down there (which is what shortly trimmed feels like) - or dental floss in your teeth (which is what natural feels like)

Jsku · 16/10/2021 12:53

I remember seeing this a while ago and it does seem to summarise the current state of hair quite well..

To remove hair 'down there' or not?
Estherpologist · 18/10/2021 06:41

[quote StarlightLady]@BigButtons - of course people should do what they want to do for themselves. But my body does not look pre-pubescent, simply because it does not have pubic hair. The shape and form are different. Do people who remove their underarm hair look pre-pubescent too?

What about men who shave their faces? Is it because they want to look like boys?[/quote]
Here here!

BigButtons · 18/10/2021 06:51

It’s a weird notion that pubic hair is unhygienic and it should be removed so that sex is clean. Surely people wash?
Never in all my years as an adult has my pubic hair been an issue to any man.
It’s a trend now though.

StarlightLady · 18/10/2021 09:32

Hair removal is not something I’ve done for anyone else. In fact, in the past l’ve been asked to grow it, the answer was no!

For me, being hair free feels more comfortable, particularly in the warmer weather.

mylovelydd · 18/10/2021 19:07

Having spent many years shaven I am now embracing being natural down there and to be very honest it's liberating.
DH loves it and I actually feel more feminine. Can't see me going back to shaving any time soon.

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