Prolapsed discs in back

[Hlgwsbytktu]

Hi everyone, first post on this forum. Any advice please from people suffering from similar.
I'm only in my 30s but I have had prolapsed discs in my lower spine since I was 20. I also have a permanently compressed sciatic nerve which has caused me to lose complete feeling in my right leg and foot.

I have been with my husband for 20 years and due to many reasons we have had a no sex for the past 5 years. We have decided to try again and things have been absolutely great. Like being teenagers again.
But my back affects everything I can do. Usually most days I am fine with no pain as long as I don't bend forward or heavy lift etc. I know how to manage it well. I have a problem about 4 times a year when they will prolapse further or I will do something that causes a spasm which causes me extreme pain for about 2 weeks where I can't walk or move at all.

Weve been having sex for a month now, roughly every other day. I have started to suffer with my back since the first day. We've tried lots of different positions and have been gentle etc. I'm kind of OK at the time during the throes of passion I am distracted from it. But afterwards or especially the next morning I'm in pain. Not severe but a low level constant back ache. I'm having to take pain killers every day first thing to get me moving. And I cannot lean forward at all.

Any tips or advice for a good sexual experience with a back problem? Thanks

I can't offer any specific sex tips, but I had a lower disc prolapse years ago which caused excruciating back and sciatic pain. I had it operated on and it made a huge difference.
I was told to do a lot of physio afterwards to strengthen everything up. Maybe that would help.
If you're in that much pain, and its affecting your sex life, the NHS should be happy to fix it, especially if you tell them its affecting your relationship.
Good luck!

@Estherpologist

I can't offer any specific sex tips, but I had a lower disc prolapse years ago which caused excruciating back and sciatic pain. I had it operated on and it made a huge difference. I was told to do a lot of physio afterwards to strengthen everything up. Maybe that would help. If you're in that much pain, and its affecting your sex life, the NHS should be happy to fix it, especially if you tell them its affecting your relationship. Good luck!

Not guaranteed at all, unfortunately.

I've had recurring disc prolapses for 6 years and the most I've ever had from the NHS are some painkillers and a small amount of sympathy.

I've been told it's now an inherent weakness and to try and strengthen my core. Absolutely no hint of options re surgery or any further help.

To answer OPs question....I've actually found (good) sex actually helps! Takes your mind off the pain, endorphins are a natural painkiller, and it's a bit of exercise.

As for tips...I'd just say once you know which positions you're most comfortable in, then that's a massive help. For example, lying flat on my back is a no-no even for sleeping so I avoid missionary.

I'm under a neurologist for the nerves and a consultant for the back, but they have said it can't be fixed
Like I say, most of the time I manage well and it doesn't cause me too many problems but that's because I wasn't having sex.

I would try cowgirl ... you on top so no pressure on your spine. Gentle movements is very sensual & will avoid jarring anything 🤞

I have reoccurring problems with prolapsed discs so you have my sympathy. Doctor just says to lose weight, which is loverly, but a) difficult to do more exercise when your in pain and b) im not overweight.

Try other positions, where you have more control. Try positions where there is limited movement.

After Gap of 5 years, just jump back into every other day. Maybe twice a week will give your body a better chance to recover.

You've got my sympathy too OP. Without wanting to ask for too much detail, are there certain positions that cause less/more pain afterwards?
I find that the ones I'd expect not to hurt (eg spooning) actually make things worse after for me, but it's my hip I have a problem with.

I ruptured a disc a few years back which I know is a completely different thing, but the pain was agonising. I eventually took up Pilates and the difference it made was incredible. I now feel my core muscles can effectively support my spine and I really notice it when I don't do it for a few weeks. I'm also much more supple when I do it regularly and feel really bendy and young! I'm in my fifties.

I have two prolapsed discs at the bottom of my spine and was seeing a specialist pain management consultant. It isn’t true that nothing can be done but it may not be available on the NHS. I had steroid injections into the joints between the discs. Honestly after 15 years of constant pain, 2 days later I felt nothing, no pain, no niggles … nothing. I couldn’t believe it. They don’t last forever (2 years for me) and I’m back to seeing him again. The injections can only be done once so we are now discussing burning the nerves off in that area permanently. It will mean a numb patch in my back but I’d rather that than the alternative. Can you ask to see a pain specialist through the NHS? Is there any way you can go private (maybe through work if available to you?)