He won't...

[TinySongstress]

I'm seeing a guy who I've known (as friends) for nearly 20yrs.

The sex is sensational. He had a vasectomy about 18yrs ago (I remember it happening) and he says he's confident in it, there's never been a problem. This is great for me as I'm not on the pill, the hormones mess me up.
So here's my problem...

He won't come inside me. He won't really tell me why. Just says he doesn't want to.
I'm fully STI clear and he knows this.

The only conclusion I keep coming to is that it's a 'Pretty Woman' scenario, where that intimacy is reserved for someone special...
I have asked him, and I can tell from his face there's a reason, but he's not talking.

Am I missing something?

Is it that he won't or can't?

Does he struggle to reach orgasm from PIV alone?

Have you both had a full STI screen and shown each other the results? I wouldn't ditch the condoms until after that personally

Do you mean without a condom ?, if so might be a sensitivity issue if he goes without?

Have you seen him ejacupayeat all?

@Estherpologist

Have you seen him ejacupayeat all?

Weirdest spelling of ejaculate I have ever seen!

Predictive text, the wrong glasses, and not being awake are an interesting combination. If only MN had an "edit post" function like EVERY!!!!! other forum ever.

Is HE STI clear? (Hope so if he is doing it without condoms).

Paranoid his vasectomy may have reversed itself? (Extremely rare but possible I believe).

Or, as others said, can’t. Does he pull out just as he is about to come? Or does he then need further manual or oral stimulation?

(If he does come at all - I’m assuming he does).

While I could possibly be wrong (it’s been known) it seems VERY unlikely to be about a lack of strong emotional feelings for you….

It would be helpful if he could discuss it with you however. “I just don’t want to” is a bit of a shit answer. I’d be wary of getting in too deep with someone who thinks this is an adequate way to discuss sex with the person they are sleeping with. IME, great talking leads to great sex! And the opposite is also sadly true……

Similar situation here. He pulls out just before he comes. I asked why in a curious way - we have very open discussions about what feels good. For him, it's twofold - he gets very sensitive at / immediately after orgasm so it allows him to control it, and also he likes the visual aspect. I do wonder if there's some background baggage of having used withdrawal as contraception in his youth, but haven't asked him this.

Is it different for blowjobs? That might give you some insight.