Dp being too forceful

[Whereswally2]

sorry dont know If this will be triggering to some

A couple of times now whe do goes through his "extra on heat" days he has found it appropriate to grab my head and push me down onto him for oral. At the time I've thought nothing of it and would laugh at him whilst he was doing it, but I would be pushing back against him to get my head back up and he wouldnt give. I'm my partners first and only gf so I dont know where he has picked that up from (porn maybe?) I took it to be light hearted and would tell him that doing this would get him no where however now that I'm thinking about it, it's just plain disrespectful joke or not. I know that if I gave in and gave him head from it he would be quite happy so there is obviously some sort of truth to his actions. I just think it's a horrible way to show his frustration. We have a newborn and arent really having sex so yes he maybe horny but honestly this is just a turn off.

I know it sounds really bad writing it down and I most likely should of felt like this sooner but I'm used to my sexual encounters being a give and not receive bases so I guess it just went past me. Sad really. In terms of sex life it is never equal. Its primarily me performing for dp. I've gone above and beyond for him and cant say he has ever done anything for me. He doesnt make me climax but then again no one ever has. When I pull him up on it he says he would love to put more effort into me during sex but I dont let him and restrict him (which is not true I just dont like oral). He has plenty of opportunity but never acts upon it.

What I'm trying to get at is the head forcing something worth getting into an arguement about, because I know that's what it will become

He's almost certainly got the idea from porn.

If you don't pull him up on it now, it's likely to get worse over time. You need to have the conversation, preferably without it becoming an argument. Try to talk about it at a sensible time. Over dinner, rather than during sex.

Just explain that you don't like him forcing your head because of how it makes you feel. If he keeps doing it, you'll be refusing to give him oral at all in the future.

I think the conversation about his lack of attention to your sexual needs is best left for another time, especially if you think it'll cause an argument. Tackle this blowjob issue first. Then have another separate conversation about what you'd like him to do to you / how you'd like to feel.

As with anything if you don't like it tell him .From what you say doesn't sound like anything sinister or abusive he just gets carried away .

Theres just so much to work on. So much to fix. Surely it shouldnt be this hard...

Any man who tried that on me would be out on their ear, absolute hard no, major turn off.
Shame you don't like oral, wondering if there is anything else you could force him to do - see how he likes it. Seriously though, all sexual acts should be voluntary, and if he wants oral, he should bloody we'll ask if you are up for it - without any head holding, that's vile.
It would be a big no from me anyway if he hadn't been bothering to please me in any way. How have you managed to tolerate a one way street all you life? You are missing out big time, perhaps it's about time you stand up for your own needs in general. Sounds like he needs to learn how sex goes IRL ie nothing like porn. You are not doing him or yourself any favours by letting him get away with rubbish halfarsed sex.

Ignore PP who inferred it was no big deal.
Op your P sounds fucking awful. Is he young? He does nothing to pleasure you but basically humps your leg like a dog with two dicks...What exactly are you getting out of it? The head forcing is vile. YADNBU.
You're right it definitely shouldn't be this hard, tbh if it doesn't improve drastically after you have had a conversation with him about his behaviour then I would draw the conclusion that there is way too much to fix here and it's not your job to. You deserve to enjoy yourself in bed, not be his wank-sock.

Ha. I've had a few guys try this. My stock response now is to look them in the eyes and say "what the actual fuck are you doing?"

You say nobody has ever given you an orgasm - are you able to orgasm when you masturbate?

If you don't like it, he shouldn't do it. Make that absolutely clear.

I like to be dominated but head pushing is a red line for me - immediate turn off.

Didn’t you ask this the other day?

You asked this on your other thread and it wasn't 'just' the head grabbing ,was it? From what you said he is abusive. Are you ok/ safe?

I thought you were leaving him?

OP posted in AIBU and the sex board on the same day.

She left after he raped her but hasn't updated since. I truly hope she's safe from this abusive wanker.

Let’s hope she is safe.