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If You Don’t Like Oral Sex!

21 replies

OrlSx · 22/05/2021 20:09

I’ve never been overly keen on oral sex, I would however like to learn to enjoy it. I don’t know if this is because when I’ve received it, it hasn’t been done well. I see posts about the joys of oral sex and the pleasure it brings but it doesn’t seem to bring me pleasure. It just feels quite slobbery to me.

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 23/05/2021 03:57

I would suggest rather than “not being done well” (vague) it has been done badly. It is also something that requires time and relaxation.

I certainly wouldn’t entertain someone who would not go down on me.

But beyond that I’m not exactly sure what you are asking here.

Estherpologist · 23/05/2021 06:29

There is no good or bad, but thinking makes it so
Are you with a long term partner?

OrlSx · 23/05/2021 09:03

I mean when I’ve received it, it doesn’t do anything for me, it doesn’t lead to orgasm either, even though I’m relaxed.
Is that normal?
Maybe it’s just not for me.

OP posts:
StarlightLady · 23/05/2021 09:19

OP is it a case of the person the other end not hitting the spot?

OrlSx · 23/05/2021 09:31

I think so yes, it seems everyone else seems to enjoy it and it brings them a lot of pleasure but I don’t get that and would like to enjoy it. I wasn’t sure if maybe I just don’t enjoy it, or if it’s just not hitting the right spots.

OP posts:
cookiecreampie · 23/05/2021 11:10

I've never really liked it loads either. I don't always think it's a case of it always being done badly either, we're all allowed our sexual preferences and we're not all the same.

honeylulu · 23/05/2021 15:13

Hard to say because some people really don't like it. But sometimes it IS because it's being done badly or in a way that doesn't work for you.

The first couple of partners I had who did it, I found it a bit "meh". I was a bit self conscious admittedly. It didn't really do anything for me and they each spent a cursory amount of time on it before moving on so I would have been nowhere near an orgasm in any event.

The partner after that though ... well.. what a different story. Just bloody amazing. Knew whart he was doing and it was a dedicated "event" but just a bit of foreplay. Best orgasm I'd had ever (and I did a LOT of self pleasuring haha!). As soon as I went home I was wondering when I could see him next so he could do it to me again. (And he did, lots of times! Ah, memories!)

I've had partners since who've also done it well and brought me to orgasm (it doesn't take long if they do it right I can tell you) but the first guy was an absolute pro. I'd have been willing to pay him for it, it was that good.

OrlSx · 23/05/2021 15:28

@honeylulu - In all honesty, I don’t think I’ve had it done right. I googled oral sex for women and it seems like there is right and wrong ways of doing it, i.e. not using a flat tongue and using the tip to stimulate the clitoris and opening the inner lips (sorry if tmi!), also caressing the inner thighs, all of which I’ve not experienced.
Maybe it’s a conversation I need to have with him but how do I approach it without knocking his confidence?

OP posts:
honeylulu · 23/05/2021 16:13

It's tricky, because you don't necessarily know what will work best for you until it works for you iyswim!

I've read other oral sex threads on here and what a lot of posters say works best for them is definitely not my preference. For example the pointy tongue on clitoris I don't like at all (it's too intense, like being tickled in a way that's almost painful). I've also heard a lot of women like their clit gently sucked but again I'd hate that for the same reason.

For me I LOVE a flat tongued approach, long, firm sweeping strokes from the vaginally entrance, up the inner labia and ending at the clit, then repeat as required!

I would say a massive part of the experience is the male partner obviously loving what he's doing. Little kisses down the abdomen as he goes down builds the excitement, kissing the genitalia area over the knickers and then gently removing them, then kissing and caressing up the inner thighs before actually touching you, then gently parting the lips with his fingers to "get to work " properly. The guy I mentioned above clearly really loved "going down", was obviously turned on by the sight, smell and taste (and my pleasure) which meant my self consciousness vanished pronto.

I also really loved it when he would slide a finger into my vagina and move it in and out when he was licking. The penetrative feeling really added something wonderful to the experience.

Sometimes we would do it with me sitting on his face and he would play with himself while we did it. I found that really hot.

But you might hate all of those things! It's really hard to advise. And it might be that however good your partner is at it you might still be one of those people who isn't keen on receiving! That's fine, you don't have to.

But as you seem keen to try it out a bit more I'd suggest saying to your partner you're not sure if oral sex is really for you but you'd love it if he helped you "experiment" to see if slightly different approaches work and suggest a few things. Hopefully he'll be delighted with the idea!

DivorcedAndDelighted · 23/05/2021 21:22

I've never been that keen, and I've had 2 long - term partners who were very good at it. I enjoy it as a quick part of foreplay but it's too passive for me ; I can't stand just lying there and having things done to me. I also need penetration to orgasm, and a finger just isn't as good as the real thing. I've had some great orgasms from oral, but I always get great orgasms from PIV and it's just much more of a full-body experience for me. So I don't dislike oral per se, but blokes who are into it tend to want to do it for ages. I'd much rather have PIV because I loooooooove that.

Opentooffers · 24/05/2021 23:40

You need my ex, he was fab at it, big O every time. However, I've always quite liked it, but it's been hit and miss as to orgasms, due to how good or persistent or how much they enjoy. If you have a man who actively enjoys it, it's a big difference from someone who is going along just to please.
Having said that, he's an ex for a reason, other reasons, miss the good oral though.
I think he said sometimes he spells the alphabet with his tongue, so maybe suggest that? I don't know, but people are good at different things, and he was dyre with his hands.

jozipozi31 · 25/05/2021 16:28

It can't be being done right for you. Because if it is done right, I suspect you would know about it.

Is he just generally wetly licking up and down your vaginal opening? In which case he needs a bit of guidance. Sounds like he's trying but hasn't got a clue. So if you can open some kind of dialogue with him about this that would be great, but of course yes in such a way that it preserves his confidence/arousal. Hmm. Always a bit tricky.

I think you probably literally have to present your clit to him and say I'd love it if you would just lick me gently here (I'm with @honeylulu on this - can't cope with sucking or tickling - too intense/sensitive - so maybe try the licking as a starter, to see how it feels for you). And then when he's doing that and it feels good, suggest he puts a finger inside you as well. That should do it. And see how that goes.

Indescriminate licking won't do much apart from make you lie there thinking 'when is this going to work? Can it even work?' - which is why you're here. Oh or you could always photocopy him the relevant pages from The Joy of Sex and pop them on his pillow for bedtime reading? : )

StarlightLady · 25/05/2021 16:55

I’m with @jozipozi31 except l didn’t know The Joy of Sex was still about. Did you get it from the British Museum 😂 ? The clitoris should have come with a sign post. Ot’s supposed to be huge inside. Clearly it was fitted the wrong way round!!!

Finally, men don’t listen. They have ears so you can manoeuvre their had to the appropriate spot.

GeorgeOhWell · 25/05/2021 19:32

The alt. porn site XConfessions has a film called Hints and Tips for Licking Clits. Lots of very useful tips for the person doing the licking.

OrlSx · 28/05/2021 18:15

@jozipozi31 - Not licking up and down but around the top but not around or over my clitoris.

OP posts:
jozipozi31 · 01/06/2021 07:47

He's missing out the actual bit he's supposed to be touching then.

Like eating the crusts around the actual sandwich.

Tell him. !

Creatoria · 02/06/2021 21:36

I didn’t enjoy it until I tried being on top and could control the pressure and the placement of his tongue. That made a huge difference. I’m very sensitive and too much clitoral stimulation can hurt.
Doing it this way has taught him what works for me too.

MyAmusedPearlSquid · 20/10/2025 02:51

My dh gives me amazing orgasam when licking me for me it's the sensation of his tounge on me then when he puts his mouth around me and plays with me while doing it god this man has made me cum several times this way

JJZ · 20/10/2025 15:53

jozipozi31 · 01/06/2021 07:47

He's missing out the actual bit he's supposed to be touching then.

Like eating the crusts around the actual sandwich.

Tell him. !

🤣🤣🤣

YehaaYessir · 20/10/2025 18:33

I used to be like you, I didn't particularly like it. Then I met my ex and all that changed. He really knew what he was doing down there and it was amazing!
I hear what you're saying about being too passive, I used to think that too - until I met him. It's not so passive when someone is doing it well. You'll be writhing around with pleasure and trying to get your bits closer to him 😂.

He gave me such a good time I felt the need to reciprocate (I'd never liked giving BJs either) but I made the effort to learn some techniques and ended up loving the effect it would have on him.
I managed to give him some explosive orgasms which I found really sexy - even though I was often covered in it lol.

Oldtadger · 24/10/2025 06:58

I have found there is not a single approach to o successful oral. It should involve a variety of techniques and patience. The receiver should have an open mind.

The giver needs to vary tongue shape and pressure. The area getting attention also needs to vary so time spent near the clit, at the entrance, on the perineum, maybe on the anus and, of course, the clit itself. Try some tongue penetration.

The giver also needs to respond to the woman's signals. Hip movement and vocal feedback give clues to what and where she was ts attention.

A finger, or two, introduced can also help. Not necessarily penetrating but adding different types of pressure at the same time as the tongue.

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