No sex for three months!

[LadShropshire]

Citalopram is a dreadful drug - think twice about taking

Does it take away the desire to have sex or does the desire remain but it affects sexual function?

Been on it for 18 months.

It’s DW who is taking it.

Zero sex drive, no motivation for anything, hoarding and binge drinking.

She’s not well so I feel a prick for posting on here - but it’s not just about the (lack of) intimacy - it’s everything

@LadShropshire - It’s ok to support your wife through this difficult period but still feel frustration at the same time.
How is she generally? Are you both happy together?

If I’m honest I’m so unhappy it’s untrue. I’ve offered to leave - but no matter how bad it is she wants to plough on.

Three years of misery.

My sister was in your wife’s position once (different substance) and my BIL left her because he couldn’t take it.

We didn’t hold it against him.

It’s ok not to want this life. Easier said than done, I know!

It sounds like this is way bigger than lack of sex.

Hi @LadShropshire, I’m sorry you & your wife are going through this. Sounds like it’s awful for both of you.
Do you & DW think the Citalopram is working? It sounds like she is still struggling and in turn that obviously does have an effect on you too. Would she consider going back to the GP to have a review, maybe with you supporting her? Sometimes a change of anti depressant can make the world of difference. Lots of people are started on Citalopram (as it’s cheap) but it doesn’t suit everyone.
Also, has she been offered counselling alongside the meds? This could be helpful for you to have also.
I hope things improve for you both OP.

@LadShropshire

V v sorry and I think v good you've posted on here because you will deffo get some useful advice.

I'd say get right back to gp and say oy this isn't viable. We can function like this. And hopefully get to try something else plus counselling is crucial. Essential. For your wife and maybe you too. X

(in the meantime you have all us amateur counsellors!)

I was the same on citalopram. Lost my sex drive and also the ability to even feel sexual pleasure or orgasm. It was fucking miserable. I feel sorry for both you and your wife

Another here offering sympathy - please try and get your wife's MH and medication reviewed .

Different morning - same shit. She was coming to bed ‘after this programme finishes’ found her pissed as a wheel with 14 empty cans of lager in the kitchen.

Fuck my life.

There seem to be so many issues here Citralopram is not for everyone but I can't imagine that it would cause binge drinking. Depression might.

Has she been on C long enough for it to impact the symptoms of her depression yet?

I agree with everyone - you need to see the GP and perhaps review meds.

She’s been on it for 3 years.

I’m supposed to be away all next week with work (thank f**k) was leaving tomorrow am - but going to leave now whilst she’s sleeping off the latest binge (Wednesday and Friday also the same)

Have you got children?

@LadShropshire - It sounds like she’s following a destructive path, all associated with depression sadly. I know she’s on antidepressants but is she receiving counselling? Does she work? What is she like when she’s not drinking?
I think the most important question is whether you still love her, or whether you stay out of pity. It’s difficult, as her circumstances may cloud your judgement.
My mother has mental health problems and I can understand how exhausting it can be, she also hoards, has panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, it has been a constant worry for me during my life but i know how much she needs me.

Sounds like a miserable life for both of you. I honestly think you need to leave

I feel great sympathy for you and your partner. I wish Doctors would not hand out antidepressants at the drop of a hat, and I wish people would not request them in the belief that they are some sort of miracle cure. If someone has a wonderful life, wonderful relationship, wonderful job, etc., and they're depressed then ADs may be the correct thing to prescribe. Most people however are depressed because their life is crap. Taking tablets will not sort that out and can have shattering effects in some areas of life.

@Mahrezis

Have you got children?

I have a son who is with us every weekend (I have to set an early alarm to go down stairs and wake her or get her to go to bed before my lad gets up)

The lack of children between us is the root cause of the problem.

I’ve actually told her to go and find someone who can give her what she wants.

I'm on citalopram and it has affected me and my ability to orgasm. Wellbutrin is supposed to help, taken in combination with it or instead.

As others say....probably more issues than just citalopram...my ex was On antidepressants but her main issue was drinking to excess....nothing is less sexy than a partner who is drunk I'm afraid. We gave up on sex completely. Sincerely hope you both find a way through and get things better but I think start with a visit to the GP.

What is stopping you leaving her? It doesn’t sound like a great relationship for what you have posted. You sound utterly fed up with it all. This can’t be good for your son either seeing all this. Personally I would leave.

Hi @LadShropshire, just wondered how you were? How are things at home?

There seem to be so many issues here Citralopram is not for everyone but I can't imagine that it would cause binge drinking. Depression might.

I've never taken Citalopram, but have been on other anti depressants at various times. Sertraline in particular seemed to severely reduce impulse control etc. and I behaved very badly while on it. It seemed to amplify self destructive behaviours as well, so I was swigging spirits straight from the bottle and not eating.

Luckily my GP quickly switched me to Venlafaxine which suited me much better.

So yes, it's likely related to the depression but the medication can make things worse.

It shouldn't be a big deal to change antidepressants. There are many, some are more costly for the practice.
Once I had zopiclone for something, turned me suicidal and lifeless.
Keep nagging to find alternatives.
Best Wishes