Sex addiction - please I need help

[Danielletracey]

Hello everyone, I’m finally at the point where I am willing to admit I have a problem with sex addiction. I sleep with about 2 new people every week (for over a year) and it’s taking over my life. My sex also got more and more extreme and I feel shame next day. I even let someone sh*t on me and got very sick for days (I need more and more extreme things to get turned on). I don’t know where to start. I am not very rich (single mum on benefits) to afford private therapy. I checked the sex addicts anonymous, but their 12weeks programs look too religious. I’m atheist. Nhs doesn’t see sex addiction as a valid mental health issue . Where to look for help. Any literature maybe? Abstinence (I tried and failed many times). Please any advice appreciated.

I am really very sad that you find yourself in this position. I would suggest making an appointment with your GP and talking about it with them.

I don’t think this is a problem that you can solve with literature, or support online, I think you need to contact your GP and see what support you have access to. There’s also the risk that as you are needing sex to be more extreme, you’re putting yourself in a very vulnerable position.
Was there anything that triggered this? Or has it always been this way?

I’ve always been like this. I think I seek validation through sex. Started having sex and became sex worker at 16!!! Then I used dress provocatively, go out and once someone approached me I used to get to strangers car and let them drive me to their house to have sex. Now I’m a mum I’m bit more careful, but I still go to strangers houses (people I met online just days prior) and wiling to do anything they ask me to (with condoms). But I ended up with few little injuries and chlamydia during the past year. Let someone tied me up and beat me, ...

I’m just so exhausted but I can’t seem to stop

Have you ever been in a long term relationship or would having sex with one partner you trust rather than strangers be an option ? Sorry if this isn't helpful , I'm just trying to understand if it's sex with different partners you crave or just sex itself .

I was in relationship for 3 years. Yes I definitely crave closeness with someone but it seems like I can’t give anyone a chance and just jump from person to person . Also I am at point where I see men as objects - everyone is starting to feel the same / there is no connection with anyone

Sex Addicts Annonymous isn't Religious. The talk of a higher power isnt necessarily about God. Many athiests follow the 12 step programme for addiction. Honestly, if you don't have funds for private counselling and can't get help via your GP (and if you do get help,.be prepared to wait for it) I think SAA is your best bet for getting some help. Good luck OP

I think antidepressants would help you too. Calm you down somewhat and for a lot of people they lower their sex drive.

Having passionate sex with new people every week is fine, if that is what you want.

Having violence, degradation and humiliation brought into the equation, really has little or nothing to do with sex and this is where you need urgent help

I think what most sticks out here is how vulnerable you are and the risk to yourself, especially being a mother, your safety needs to be top priority. These men are taking advantage of your vulnerabilities.
Please call your GP and see what help there is, this is clearly a much more deeper psychological problem that only someone of a professional nature, who has experience, can help you with. You can also call Sex Addicts Anonymous and see what help they can offer.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this, OP.

I agree you should give SAA a try. I know what you mean about the religious angle, but you may find your group doesn't place much emphasis on that.

A friend has been in AA for a few years with great success and he is as atheist as they come. The non-shaming support he gets from the program is worth it

Have a look at the Nelson Trust- they deal with all types of addictions. Be under no illusion there is a quick fix- its going to be a long hard road.

Ahhh, sounds like you've got yourself into a bit of a spiral. I understand addiction so appreciate how difficult it becomes.
Obviously having sex when you want to isnt and issue but atleast you've been open and realise the other aspects are dangerous.
Is it possible to get a therapist, pretty sure they'd cover most issues and addictions. Obviously that doesnt come cheap though... could you ask for an NHS referral? It probably is worth joining some forums for sex addiction as theres bound to be others in your shoes that might have some valuable advice xxx

Listen to some sex and love addicts anonymous stuff on YouTube. It's really good. I'm more of the type that loses myself in a man and pleasing him but can get very hung up on one and it can totally be treated with a 12 step program.