Has anyone used diaphragms and/or condoms as birth control?

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Hi there

I’m getting married in a couple of months and have been thinking of birth control. I have used hormonal birth control in the past. The combined pill and mini pill. The combined pill made my migraines worse. I would get 3 or 4 per week at worst. I felt bloated too. The mini pill made me bloated too and more argumentative. Plus my hair at the sides started to thin. I noticed this when I stopped taking it but it’s thickened up again because it’s been years since then. My eyesight would randomly blur. Patches of fat at my hips developed when I was on it. I have lost 3st in weight 2 years ago and still have those fatty deposits but they’re better than before.

I’m not wanting to go on anything hormonal or long term especially because of this pandemic going on. It’s more difficult to get health sorted e.g. remove a method that’s causing bad side effects. I don’t want to put on weight or have my body and mental health ruined. I had a series of bad experiences with relationships mainly 2 relationships. My ex from 2 years agos behaviour towards me really affected my self esteem and my self esteem before was quite rocky. I’m still trying to work through issues from that relationship and I don’t need bad side effects from hormones especially before and after my wedding. I’m already sorting things out and trying to get the day to be as perfect as possible. I don’t want to look back on the pictures and think I look fat and ugly and I felt it too. Also don’t want a migraine on my wedding or a bad flare up of them.

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I’m interested in getting a diaphragm and my husband using condoms. Have any of you used them methods. My first ex used condoms and they weren’t bad. I’ve never used a diaphragm before and they seem the best option for me. Please let me know your experience

FYI. Me and my future husband are waiting til marriage so not on anything

Tried condoms lots of times, hasn't everyone, they're ok for a while but nonetheless reduce sensation and can at times be uncomfortable. Never tried the diaphragm, seems like a good idea, but it's not at all popular so the spermicide mess and the insertion must be somewhat unsatisfactory.

Strange that we can go to Mars but good contraception, or even a male oral contraceptive, has yet to be found.

We used condoms before ttc, for a few years between and a few years after our second
Not a problem for either of us...... but the 6 month old barely used condom box tells you exactly how little sex you are having 😀

Yes I've heard condoms can reduce sensation but there's those ribbed ones which I used sometimes when I was with my ex and they were the best. Yes diaphragms aren't as popular as they used to be which I think is a shame as they're a good form of non hormonal birth control and should be widely available. I think once you get the hang of inserting it it should be good.

I'm glad they've worked for you. Oh dear sure kids have that effect on couples I suppose lol 😂😂

I used a diaphragm for many years . It's effective and easy to use and neither one of you feels it in and doesn't affect pleasure like a Condom does . The only issue is getting hold of one !

We use condoms since my DP had her mirena removed....it was life expired and caused other issues.... We have no issues ...they are perfectly ok. Yes....the feel is different to without but there are several extremely thin ones that feel pretty ok to me as a man. We have a stash in the bedside cupboard inside a hanky box. A small drop of condom friendly lube on the tip of his penis before you roll the condom on does help with feel for the man No experience with the cap...

That's great to know that the diaphragm worked for you. Yes hardly anywhere does it on the NHS. The good thing is you can order it online. I'm gonna see if my doctor can fit and prescribe me one. Fingers crossed it works for me and future hubby

That's great to know that condoms work for you and doesn't affect how it feels to a man that much. Thanks for the tip

I don’t like messing with my hormones and, in turn my libido.

I’ve been a condom user for many years; I won’t have sex without one and always have a few in my handbag.

Or as a friend once said to me, “you won’t get on the Jeremy Kyle show like that.” 😂

Used condoms for 20 years with no problems tried quite a few, all feel the same to me, go for a brand you know and check the expiry date

I used condoms all the time for several years when I was single - like @StarlightLady. I wouldn't have sex unless the guy was wearing one. Most of the time I wasn't on the Pill - I would just get that if I was with someone for longer. Never tried a diaphragm. I think condoms are OK actually. They really only take seconds to put on and the all the variety you can get now, ribbed etc, (loved the glow in the dark ones) can make them fun. Had a couple of scares when the condom was left inside me, but that was because the guy left it too long before pulling out. Used properly they're fine.

Agree @Annwen....they do change the feel for the man but not badly IMO. OP....they are easy to use but do read the instructions. If neither of you have used them before it's worth sacrificing one for a test so you both know what to do. Use a banana or cucumber for trial rolling... It will probably be a laugh and you will probably wind up using a second for real Never open the foil package with teeth! Ensure your nails are trimmed with no sharp bits too...Make sure you roll the right way and all the way down. When he's orgasmed he should pull out fairly promptly. Remove , tie a knot to retain contents and dispose of in the bin....never flush down the loo! Make sure you use a recognised brand and If you use lube do ensure it is condom compatible....most condoms are latex and oil based lubes will damage the latex. If either of you are latex intolerant there are non latex ones...skyns make an excellent one. Used properly they are 99% reliable as a contraceptive. Have a fun!

I used a diaphragm decades ago and didn't get on with it. Had to interrupt proceedings to nip off to the bathroom to insert it, which kinda killed the mood.

And I just found it tricky to handle once I'd put spermicide round the edges. Having to squeeze it together to insert was a nightmare. It was slippery and would ping out of my hand onto the bathroom floor, getting covered in dust in the process so I'd have to rinse it and start again. By the time I got back to the bedroom, I'd usually gone off the idea!

Condoms for me as my wife doesn't want to go back on the pill and I don't fancy having a vasectomy (just my hangup - I'm well aware that it's a totally safe procedure). Obviously nothing is 100% safe but it is reliable and doesn't spoil the experience in any way.

I think the diaphragm is almost impossible to get on the NHS now. It was always offered several years ago but seems to have fallen out of favour & staff don’t seem to be trained to size/fit them now. You used to be able to get them at sexual health clinics or your GP - don’t think either offer them now. You can buy them off Amazon (Caya is the brand) but it’s one size so I’m not sure how safe/reliable that might be. 😳 They’re not cheap either, when you add the cost of the gel (£50). I don’t think your GP / nurse would fit them either, esp as it is just one size.
As @PinotPony said, it takes a bit of forward thought & you have to be quite dexterous as they are slippery buggers!

I used the diaphragm when I was in my late teens/early 20s while at uni (over 20 years ago now). You can put it in a bit in advance so you don't have to kill the mood but they can be tricky to use. I also got a lot of UTIs while I used it. I'm prone to these in any case so could have been a coincidence but I stopped using the diaphragm in the end and the UTIs decreased. I was hot on cleanliness though so I really don't know the cause and effect.

@JamieFrasersBigSwingingKilt

I used the diaphragm when I was in my late teens/early 20s while at uni (over 20 years ago now). You can put it in a bit in advance so you don't have to kill the mood but they can be tricky to use. I also got a lot of UTIs while I used it. I'm prone to these in any case so could have been a coincidence but I stopped using the diaphragm in the end and the UTIs decreased. I was hot on cleanliness though so I really don't know the cause and effect.

That's reminded me of a college friend who used a diaphragm. She loved it because she could put it in before going out if there was a chance she might be having sex so there was no need to fiddle about with it 'in the moment'. She was very happy with it and had no scares as far as I know.