What happened with him?

[Beenawhile1]

So I met up with an ex from many years ago.... had sex. It’s been quite a while for me and I don’t know if I just built up this picture of it being amazing or not but I’m feeling a little paranoid... so initially he got hard fine but as we were playing around it was like he couldn’t keep hard? He said he needs a lot of sex so I thought he’d be rock hard....the sex was ok... I don’t regret it just not what I thought it would be so I’m a little disappointed.

The trouble is I now feel like it’s me and he didn’t find me attractive enough? I have only ever been with guys who got rock hard without me even trying... he doesn’t so drugs, only had a drink or two. He’s 40... am I naive to think at 40 men don’t have issues staying hard or was it me??

@SortingItOut I just mean i wish I could do sexual sex! I just can’t, I get too involved, I don’t have the ability to not be bothered either way! So annoying. That is a good idea, I might just wait to see if he comes back (whilst getting on with life) and go from there. Generally it would be up to a week with no contact ... I just wish guys would be upfront with me! For example I reiterated I don’t want any more kids, that’s a complete deal breaker for me, he never had kids, we had the conversation, he made a joke about how he would just have to have a girlfriend that already had them blah blah... he has met my kids because the first time we met nothing happened and they know he is an old friend. He knew the deal. Why not just say I don’t want anything serious, just fun. That’s what I don’t get.

@Beenawhile1 Because a lot of women don't want men who want fun so men get suspicious when a woman says that they only want fun so he treats them all the same and pretends he wants different.

@SortingItOut so fed up with that. I do want fun but in a relationship

@Beenawhile1 In that case he knew you wanted a relationship with sex and if he said he wanted casual you probably wouldn't have agreed.

Next time don't let him meet your kids.

He met them ages ago so wasn’t ‘new’, they know him as my friend and nothing else at all, the same as any other friend of mine that they have met/see.

Yes that is probably true.

Oh ok, sorry I thought he was your old friend but the children didn't know him.

I hope you are able to move on from this and meet someone in time who wants the same as you.
I know the pool will be a lot smaller as you want to know them but I'm hopeful you'll meet someone.

Yes old friend before I had kids so when I was young but had already met them before anything happened with us at that point.

I don’t have to ‘know’ them as such but a recommendation would be preferable