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6 replies

yearling9 · 09/04/2021 10:01

I've name changed for this for obvious reasons. Quite often I have heard it said that enthusiasm is what makes someone (specifically a woman) good in bed. I'm possibly meeting someone very soon for a casual hook up after coming out of a LTR which was very quick and quiet for want of a better term (young kids, attraction between us dropped off so last couple of years have been sexless) and I was wandering if people can define that enthusiasm as I really want him and me to enjoy this experience but I'm also quite nervous but want to come across confident and sexy but I'm not sure if you can fake it til you make it?!

OP posts:
barbrahunter · 09/04/2021 10:02

What about what you want, OP?

Danceswithwhippets · 09/04/2021 11:27

Man's opinion here @yearling9

come across confident and sexy

I'm not sure it's a good idea to try to act a part in such a situation. If you're looking for a liaison with something it it for yourself that is! you might giving the wrong impression and end up feeling exploited. Why not be open about your background, situation and what you're after? he should be more likely to "look after you".

That aside, yes enthusiasm is one thing that makes a woman good in bed, but then doesn't the same apply to men?

PinotPony · 09/04/2021 12:44

I think a big part of "enthusiasm" is enjoying yourself. As PPs have said, be open about what you like as well as asking him.

Being confident sometimes involves faking it til you make it! Not diving under the covers or hiding the bits of your body that you worry about. Accepting compliments.

Plus I think it's always great to fuck people you can laugh with when it goes wrong. Having a sense of humour and being relaxed about it all will help to give an impression of confidence.

JustAnotherOldMan · 09/04/2021 21:13

As others, don’t worry about about body image (if you are try a teddy or something along those lines), don’t be shy about ask for what you want, and be in the moment, don’t think about other things, if you need a drink, just a small one, and be yourself

But to be honest most men are happy when they are with a woman who actually wants to have sex with them.

PermanentTemporary · 10/04/2021 01:09

I would ask you to try and get your mental focus off the other person and on to you.

It sounds wrong to most of us to do that but to me there's absolutely no point in casual sex unless you are doing it entirely for you. Enter into that pure encounter of two bodies and make it so that you can enjoy yourself. What would you like? It sounds like you would want it to be long, drawn out and noisy? Noisy how - music, dirty talk, groaning? What gives you pleasure?

Don't you worry about showing enthusiasm. Tell them what you want to experience and yes, for sure, if it feels good say so. I don't think you need to worry beyond that.

Parkerwhereareyou · 10/04/2021 05:00

Enter into that pure encounter of two bodies and make it so that you can enjoy yourself.


Remember why you are meeting a relative stranger and having no strings sex.

There's only one reason: for an injection (...) of pleasure. Simply that.

So you are not trying to impress, or second guess. You don't need to be anxious about 'performance'. This is all about desire ... just two bodies allowing themselves to go where they like together.

It must be about you. And I'm sure he will let you know what he likes. It's usually pretty obvious anyhow.

Enthusiasm is ... not something forced or prescribed. It's just letting your excitement and desire for him show. It's dropping your guard. It's not thinking hmm I'd love to just take hold of him but gosh should I? Would he mind? ....... it's just taking hold of him, because you want to.

It's not 'oh should I...?' but rather 'mmm yes I really have to ...'

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