Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sex

You need to have been registered for 7 days to post in the Sex forum. Please don’t send unwanted PMs to other users.

Sex after cancer

1 reply

KitKatBunny · 01/04/2021 22:13

Last year I was diagnosed with cancer. Had surgery (hysterectomy) and pelvic radiotherapy. Going through surgical menopause, in my 30s.

I wasn't exactly gagging for it before all this happened, but it's fair to say my libido is now a big fat zero. The thing is, I just don't care that much; I don't want to have sex with my DH, but nor do I want to have sex with anyone else. My body has been through a lot, and I cannot stand the thought of anyone touching it. Also radiotherapy has unwelcome side effects on the vagina, can cause it to narrow and intercourse can become painful.

I don't know where our relationship can go from here, DH is very patient but I can't imagine that will last forever. Its not fair for him to go without sex if he wants it, but nor does it seem fair if I have to force myself to go through the motions when I don't really want to do it.

Has anyone been through similar? Did you come out the other side? I'm still trying to generally deal with the fact I've gone through all this cancer crap at a relatively young age, this feels like another stress that is playing on my mind.

OP posts:
Parkerwhereareyou · 01/04/2021 23:14

oh KitKat you have really been through the mill. So sorry.

I haven't been through this but I do think that even some touch between the two of you would help your body to start to come back. I mean literally if there is anything you can stand - just something so small. Stroking your nose? Your hands? Your cheeks? Anywhere?

I think you have to start as if you'd never been touched before. I know you don't want to be touched, but I'm wondering whether this is something psychological that you will have to get over.

Even if your sex drive needs time and input to revive it, you still could benefit from sensual pleasure like just touching.

You can't pressurise yourself at the moment though. You've been through an extraordinary physical and emotional challenge, and have had to fight this alone, because only you could do it. Now you need to rest. And come to terms with it. And start to get to a place where you can actually enjoy your life.

As for your DH - is it totally out of the question for you to be involved in anything sexual with him? I mean, would you ever touch him?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page

This topic prevents users from posting on it until they have been members for at least 7 days.

Swipe left for the next trending thread