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Assault - I’m never going to be healed am I?

6 replies

Pleasegivemeyourwisdom · 26/03/2021 23:39

Assaulted at 16.

Can’t forget it.

I’m Never going to feel free of being raped am I ?

What a naive kid I was. What a successful prick he is. How stupid do I now feel and worthless. Wouldn’t it be great if karma wasn’t a crock of shit?

OP posts:
Pleasegivemeyourwisdom · 26/03/2021 23:45

I piss myself off how plagued I feel having been assaulted Sad

OP posts:
Parkerwhereareyou · 27/03/2021 06:40

The problem with having been tainted by the foul behaviour of someone else is just that. You feel tainted.

You know he's the vile one. This is his toxicity. But as you say, he's off laughing in the sunshine and you're all broken in a corner, crying and feeling dirty, still remembering how he might have been 'good looking', 'hot', had a great body and a flashy smile and been seen as something cool by the outside world, but actually he took the piss with that and used it to hurt you in one of the worst ways possible.

Whether he was ostensibly attractive or not, I'm sure he was the ugliest and most bestial creature on earth while he was hurting and forcing you, and his lust stank.

And that's just it. Now he's gliding around his jolly life, being successful and smug and happy and knowing he's got away with it. Maybe pretending it never happened. Or maybe still wanking over it.

I'm so sorry, love. What happened was atrocious. But there are some ways to make you feel better. And part of that way may be to take him down. Or it may be to decide not to go through the exposure and hate from him that will generate, but just to get some counselling for healing and cleansing yourself.

To help more will probably need some more details. Like how long ago this happened, what happened, how it was dealt with at the time.

You know, my love, that whatever he did to your body (and soul) is in the past. Even your cells will have regenerated by now. You need to wash this injury away.

I'm guessing it must hang over you psychologically when you now think of sex with others. I hope there was no permanent physical consequence/scarring.

So well done for asking for help here. I'm sure there will be a lot of people with very good, kind and practical advice.

Mine is:
It was not your fault.
There's no defence against straight abuse.
It's over now.
He's the plagued one.
You're completely clean and free.
This can only continue to hurt you if you give it oxygen. Cut off the supply (which will need help and advice from others on the most effective way to do this).

Do not let yourself suffer any more.

Allow others to know and possibly for him to be brought to account for his behaviour.

💐

Justa47 · 28/03/2021 07:32

@Parkerwhereareyou

Agree 100%

Parkerwhereareyou · 28/03/2021 22:03

@Justa47

Thx. Glad we agree. Hope OP can hear us, bless her.

Alonelonelyloner · 30/03/2021 19:53

My back catalogue, just for info,

I was raped at 12, at 16 by my boyfriend multiple times and again at 25 by my then fiancée.

I am now much older and have wonderful, fulfilling and emotionally close sex with my DP.
You can and hopefully will recover.
The key for me was accepting that I cannot and will not take responsibility for the shitty and dangerous behaviour of others.
I will not lose out on life. Or experiences. Good ones. I will not be victimised again and again.
You may be a long way from that now.
But you can get there. I have faith that you will.
You will. No matter what counselling you have etc, it may be a moment of clarity when you realise that life is too short to hurt anymore or allow your body to be punished.

I have moments. And my experience bites me on the Arse unexpectedly. But all in all, I now own my body. Again. There's so much I could write, but in a nutshell, you will. I promise.

changingusernamecosofthis · 29/04/2021 22:37

Healing is a process...I was raped at 15. Been through many motions since then. V v happily married but sex life has had some difficulties due to my needing to be able to say no.my husband is amazing & talks to Me, tries to understand. I've had 4/5 lots of counselling (mostly short term) & would like specific sexual harm counselling. I will do it when I have the space. Right now I accept that it happened but I'm sad/embarrassed about the sexual choices I made afterwards, I believe most were linked to my feelings of v low self worth. I know these are irrational but it's how I feel. I've also distanced myself from (innocent) friends from that time as I cringe about who I was - I was just v normal I suspect! But being so happy & secure now, I can't believe some of the things I did.

Life can get better. Mine is mostly fantastic but I will not forget it & I won't permit others to talk about SA casually in my presence.

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