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No sex new relationship

9 replies

DOB78 · 20/03/2021 00:41

I'm not really looking for answers more a safe place to rant before I lose my mind. This is so embarrassing to have to say out loud and why I can't talk to anyone in RL about it.
I've been in my new relationship for 18 months now I'm 43 and was miserably married for 20 years before this but since leaving him oh my goodness I felt so alive!!!
Anyway I met my Partner online and our 1st night together was awesome. He was affectionate, attentive, considerate and very satisfying but wow that changed straight away our sex life is non existent. I made excuse after excuse he's tired, he's stressed, my kids are around, he's up early for work blah blah blah. I even thought it would get better when we lived together, nope no change. We talked about having a baby nope still minimal sex which for pregnancy ain't gonna work.
I've brought it up so many times I'm sick of talking about it coz nothing is changing. I know he watches porn quite a bit which really annoys me I'm like hello real woman here! I'm fairly sexually open and have suggested we watch porn together or he tells me what he likes but I thinks he's too embarrassed to share. We'll go for weeks without any sexually contact and is so frustrating that he can't see the damage it's doing to my self esteem. Every other aspect of the relationship is great he's affectionate, caring, helpful and supportive.
Im ready to quit this relationship I spent 20 years in a shitty marriage I do not want to live the rest of my life sexless........

OP posts:
Sassy14 · 20/03/2021 00:58

@DOB78 I agree with you, there's no way I would want to spend the rest of my life like that either Sad the relationship doesn't sound like it's going anywhere good to be honest...especially because he watches porn a lot and is not giving you any attention. I would leave Sad

Normalmumandwife · 20/03/2021 06:27

Omg. Don't hand around...learn from your previous experience as you know it won't get better. Run

Mydarkside · 20/03/2021 09:25

I'm confused about why you're talking about having a baby with someone who you have a fundamental incompatibility with.

wsbts · 20/03/2021 13:36

Hi Op With your previous marriage and now 18 months I think there is no other feasible answer but to say this is the end and onto pastures new especially as lockdown is going to finish shortly we all hope.

Good Luck

Tal45 · 20/03/2021 13:42

Time to have higher expectations and not accept this crap x

xpc316e · 20/03/2021 13:47

This life is not a dress rehearsal; it is our only chance to be happy, so make things happen for yourself.

I squandered 15 years of my precious existence in a coercive marriage, so I know what I am talking about. Start afresh.

Best wishes.

jessstan2 · 20/03/2021 13:50

He sounds pretty useless, op. Why would you want to introduce a man like that into your family? It strikes me you jumped in to living with him far too quickly, you need to take your time about that. As for having a baby - please don't!

Get rid.

Isitsixoclockalready · 20/03/2021 18:13

That would ring alarm bells for me. I presume that you are after more than just a great friend.

Parkerwhereareyou · 21/03/2021 07:27

This sounds like absolute bollocks. What the hell ...?

It depends how much you like him, but really ... you're going to have to talk to him about it. Properly. However embarrassed he is. And tell him you can't live like this and as really he is just a friend. Does he have anywhere to go?

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