Ok to follow a hot girl on sm?

[rosegoldtip]

I had a post about this but it got derailed.
Can I ask your opinion on this ?
Is it ok in your opinion for your partner/ husband to follow a' hot' girl on sm... quite a raunchy photo .. think( huge exposed boobs and bum ) provocative posing .
He doesn't like or
Comment on the photos. Would you pissed off? Can you separate that from your relationship?
Relationship is excellent . Sex life best we've ever had from both accounts .
Thanks

There's a couple of fitness models I follow on FB. I'm 53. Big wow! I'm single.

@GentlemanJay so you don't think it's a big deal in A relationship ? Just trying to get an idea of what the norm is these days ... new relationship after long long marriage . Thanks

It's a bit of window shopping. Men are very visual. They look at beautiful women like you may look at art. They admire. It's a bit of fun. A bit of titillation.

It wouldn't bother me but then I follow some hot male celebs on Instagram.

Thanks. Needed some perspective

I understand why you may feel jealous about this, I may have done in my younger years ... but can you make a light hearted comment about it to him ?
Ask him to show the pictures and make some comments about on how lovely her shoes are 😬

He will probably then think you are more awesome than you already are 🥰

I wouldn't be ok with that. Facebook is interactive. And I would think that's a bit pathetic.

Nope, wouldn't bother me at all. No harm in looking. That doesn't mean he thinks less of me or intends to cheat.

It speaks to insecurities about the relationship when people get jealous of randoms on social media. I follow fit men and women on FB and Insta. It is possible to appreciate an aesthetic without having secret desires to shag it! Plus I realise that most of those images are designed to look sexy and have been heavily filtered or photoshopped.

Another point. A lot of people I've met in life who are very young and attractive have turned out to be dull as dish water. They've always disappointed me in real life.

I think it's a mistake to think your partner is responsible to satisfy all your sexual desires. If the two of you have great sex and care for each other, allow him this freedom.

Page 3, lads mags, hot girls on sm, frankly it's all to feed his fragile ego and it gets him horny for you. Sex is so powerful that for him to change will make him miserable. And what for?

Just make sure you also state what you want from the relationship clearly, but from how you describe it, it sounds like you are happy on your end. In which case - enjoy your man and great relationship.

Wouldn’t bother me. Maybe it should, but it doesn’t.

A lot of women wouldn't like this, so you've been warned. Following specific women is courting trouble. Gone are the days where women used be distant figures with real names that were difficult to discover - today it's just to easy to try to contact the women online.

I find it interesting that you would post this. Instead of fixating on a woman you can't have a relationship or have sex with, maybe you should focus more on your partner.

@PinotPony

Nope, wouldn't bother me at all. No harm in looking. That doesn't mean he thinks less of me or intends to cheat.

It speaks to insecurities about the relationship when people get jealous of randoms on social media. I follow fit men and women on FB and Insta. It is possible to appreciate an aesthetic without having secret desires to shag it! Plus I realise that most of those images are designed to look sexy and have been heavily filtered or photoshopped.

The thing is, it's often not just randoms, is it? They're real people and often can be contacted easily which just wouldn't have been as easy or realistic in the days where you saw someone in a magazine.

He doesn't actually need to do it, and as others have said, the problem is that it is super easy for him to strike up a conversation with her.

So, really he should just not do it, if it upsets you. If he's committed. I for example have taken people off facebook for no reason other than that DP was anxious about it. I told him what kind of an idiot was he, and not to be, he still was, so I thought omg what's more important - I'm supposed to be on his side - ok I'll just remove the stress.

Nah it's childish and puerile. I wouldn't be attracted to a bloke who did this. Some dickish replies on this

It bothers me massively and it's caused upset between me and my DP. He follows an excessive amount of women in various states of undress. I find it disrespectful to me, it's made me feel very insecure and unattractive. There are other factors to why I feel like this but ultimately it really does bother me.

Can I ask how you deal with this?
Have you told him your concerns and has he stopped ?

I have brought it up a couple of times and he said he understood but did nothing about it. The last time I raised the issue he has made a conscious effort to unfollow them.

It was really causing me hurt and I felt/feel pretty crap that I don't fit his type and am never likely to. I guess I am lucky that he is pretty understanding and he has listened to me about how it affects me.

Since this original post, I sat with my partner and explained that I found it disrespectful and creepy. He explained that these are his ' friends' from online gaming . Full of anxiety I practically checked every single profile to check to see if he engages . He has done in the past but not sat nice we got together . I explained that I understood that it was his business who he followed and engage with but my decision to accept it if I wanted to. I am now a nervous wreck, hyper vigilant almost looking for him to get caught out. I come from a marriage where my husband was having an affair under my nose and I didn't we it for possibly a year or more . My trust is destroyed .

Octagonal are you Rosegoldtip? Sorry bit confused if you are the OP.

Either way:
Rosegold - is he from a macho male culture such as Eastern European?