Sex with a coil in, can your partner feel it?

[AintNobodyHereButUsChickens]

I don't get on well with hormonal contraception. It either makes me bleed non-stop or makes me very depressed. Me and DH have just been using condoms since last June when I stopped the pill, and my cycle has been all over the place ever since giving us lots of (false) pregnancy scares. In February I suddenly realised I was on day 42 so decided to POAS just to make sure. I was pretty confident I wasn't pregnant which is why I did the test at 1am when I woke up for a wee. I got the shock of my life when it WAS positive 😬 We definitely don't want anymore children so I had a termination.

Anyway, I digress. Some years ago I tried out the Mirena coil, that was one that made me bleed constantly. But DH felt it during sex, he said it hurt quite a bit. I'm considering a copper coil now, because it's not hormonal and I obviously don't want to accidentally end up pregnant again.

DH could get the snip but realistically that won't solve much, we are swingers so I have sex with other men too (obviously not for the last year!). I've considered getting sterilised myself but I'm only 29 and I've heard that it can be notoriously difficult for women to even get referred for sterilisation.

I'm just paranoid about 1. It migrating and piercing my uterus and 2. Hurting my husband/anyone else I have sex with.

Is it common for a coil to be pokey and hurt your partner or was I just unlucky? Every HCP I've mentioned this to has either been baffled or mumbled something about the strings being too long or too short.

Sorry, I feel like that was unnecessarily long

I had a partner who used a Mirena coil. She was practice nurse specialising in reproductive health, and swore by it personally and professionally, so it goes to show no one system suits everyone.

Yes, I could feel it -occasionally -but it wasn't painful or uncomfortable, it was a bit kinky/nice even. And reassuring that there weren't going to be any babies.

@Danceswithwhippets I assume you are a man? Thank you for your input it's appreciated!

I always get a bit baffled by posts in parent groups asking "What contraception should I have?" Because what works perfectly for one woman will have detrimental effects for another woman.

I have the Mirena, but was told that should my husband feel anything, that it could be trimmed. I’m not sure if you have to “check” the copper coil strings but I was told to try and find them every now and again. I think he’s felt them occasionally but not enough to warrant an appt.

My DP reports being able to feel the strings around the end of my cervix when he uses his fingers. But not painful or uncomfortable for either of us.

OP I feeeel your pain. Every contraception out there makes me bleed really heavily. Currently have the implant in, been in for over a year and still bleeding really heavily so getting it removed. I used to have the coil, but I ended up pulling it out myself as I was sick of the extremely heavy bleeding and cramps (dont recommend anyone do that though!). My DP was always complaining about the strings pricking his bellend too. Would have considered trimming the strings if it wasn't for the other symptoms, I'd had enough. I have 4 DC and have had 1 termination, and have been told there is no way I'm allowed to be sterilised as I'm too young. Honestly I'd sterilise myself if I could.

Sorry for rambling. My point is, the coil was the worst out of everything I've tried.

The only person my copper coil ever hurt was me! I felt like I was trying to birth the bugger for the first 3 days
Dh could often feel the 'strings' but it didn't hurt or bother him.

We loved mine, I only got rid of it because I had a hysterectomy!

Two men told me they could feel the Mirena strings and that they hurt when I had one. My (female) doctor said there was no way they could. But one of the men actually got cut by the "strings" so I believe the men.

The same doctor laughed me out of her surgery when I presented with a prolapse telling me a gyn would laugh at her if she referred me to hospital. Her bedside manner was harsh to say the least.

I could feel the strings a little and my ex very occasionally but they soften up very quickly.

When I first had my copper coil put in the strings/wires were quite straight and pointy. My BF said he could feel it sometimes but now they have kind of curved round, and he’s not mentioned feeling them again. I was told the heat of your body should make the wires curve round, almost hugging the cervix...

Mrs thumping had a coil for a few years and I could feel the strings occasionally. It wasn't a big issue though.

I'm on my third coil and lord knows what number man.....noone has ever mentioned it.

This one does have pretty short strings though as it was put in under general anaesthetic so I think they could cut them shorter while up there as I was asleep. I can feel them if I rummage around a bit.

I'm surprised by all this. EXDW had two different coils at different times (don't know what kind they were though), and I never felt them at all.

Had a terrible experience with the copper coil. Fitted and removed twice. Mis-diagnosed with Gonorrhoea due to unusual discharge. No lie. Never again. Husband is in for the snip in 3 weeks.

I had a copper coil many (many!) years ago and my then partner said he could feel it. My female doctor was adamant this was not possible...

If you're swingers, shouldn't you be using condoms anyway?!
Get hubby to have the snip.

@B1rdflyinghigh

If you're swingers, shouldn't you be using condoms anyway?! Get hubby to have the snip.

Oh we absolutely do @B1rdflyinghigh! But my recent pregnancy was conceived despite using condoms, we weren't aware of any splitting or holes so not really sure how exactly it happened. So I think it would best if I had some form of contraception as a back up in case of splits etc. Unexpected/unwanted pregnancies are not great, but even worse if it happened with a man who isn't your husband 😬

Thanks all

Whoops. Pressed post too soon, eager thumbs!

Thanks all, lots to think about. Quite a few bad experiences which does not fill me with confidence 😕 I'm wondering if it is worth going to my GP and asking for a referral for sterilisation. We're positive we don't want anymore children. There's 7 years between our two, the second one had a huge detrimental effect on our eldest's mental health, nearly 3 years on and she's still struggling. We can't put her through that again.

@AintNobodyHereButUsChickens I had the copper coil. They put it in and then I promptly forgot about it until I had it removed 4 years later so I could get pregnant. I loved it. Never gave me any trouble. DH said he could feel the strings sometimes but it never hurt or bothered him.

My partner can feel the strings of my Mirena but he’s a big chap and bangs on my cervix. It doesn’t hurt him.

I had the Mirena and took it out. DH could feel the metal spike coming out of the cervix - dunno why they called it strings when was a thing metal spike on mine. They tried trimming it twice then I said Get This Out.

It also caused constant spotting - not sexy.

Personally I wouldn’t touch the coil again. Or the implant as I know several women who had depression after getting it.

It wasn't fitted properly if the end of the actual coil was through your cervix. It does have strings but it sounds like the actual coil itself had slipped down.